I drink too much.

I must have a dry day today. Since I moved in with The Brother and The Sister-in-Law I have been soaked in booze. I will refrain today and maybe after the New Year celebrations are over I will have a few more dry days.
This will help toward my aim of losing some weight before I go to the Fat Clinic in March to be told off for being obese and drinking too much, both of which are true of course. At least I gave up smoking.
It's time to take steps to get down to my fighting weight of 13st 7lbs, although if you read all the charts I should be even lower than that. If I do go much lower though I start to look ill and people try to help me across the road and suchlike so 13½ st it is.
Not an unreasonable target, and it is somewhere I've been before but I always slide back due to my love of sweet things and beer. More exercise is the answer.
You must realise that I'm talking through my hat and I'm unlikely to do anything like what I'm wittering on about apart from perhaps the dry days around New Year. I say the same things every year. So stuff resolutions, I'm just going to get on with living. As my old pal Horace always said: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
TTFN

Peeking around the corner.

Now is the time that everyone starts to look back at the year just gone, who we have lost and who has been given a knighthood or some such honour in the New Years Honours List.

I, on the other hand am peeking around the corner at the New Year to come. The days of looking back and wishing that things could have been different have to end otherwise I can make no progress.

With that in mind I need to think of what the tenor of this blog should be. I am unsure as to whether the random approach still works or if I should try to write about current affairs. I feel more comfortable with writing what I feel at the time, rather than trying to be 'controversial' or 'edgy' so I am leaning toward carrying on as before. 

I would like to write on here in the style of Garrison Keillor, using a gently humorous approach to chronicle the goings on in the world and my feelings. To try and make people smile or say 'aww how sweet' rather than rant and rile people up.

The world is a troubled enough place without me adding to the trauma, so if it's ok with you I'll try to be whimsical and witty (mostly), rather than angry and ranty (occasionally) and hope to bring a smile to the face of my readers. I hope to bring a few more readers on board as well. It would be good if I could expand the readership, it would make me feel appreciated and be a boost for an ego which has been deflated for longer than I can recall. I pride myself in my modesty* but, as I say a wider audience would be a tonic.

I'll be off now to have a cup of tea before cleaning the bath. The Sister-in-Laws Brother is coming over later so I have to behave and pretend to be civilised.

More later I hope. TTFN.

*An oxymoronic joke there friends.

Well that was Christmas.

Christmas is over and now we look forward to the New Year.
I hope 2013 is better than 2012 (not to mention 2011 and 2010) and that I will have a chance to blog on more interesting things than last year and also to get on with writing my short stories.
Currently I have a young man from the North East of England sitting in Cleveland OH waiting to marry his love and move out West to go and farm in Arkansas or somewhere similar and a former Spanish Civil War fighter, now a priest living in France and contemplating an offer from an old comrade. These poor guys must move on and get to the point before many more suns have risen and set.
It will also be interesting to see where I go from here with my life. Probably best to go with the flow and see where fate takes me rather than push in any given direction.
So look out for more interesting blogs and some finished tales in the next twelve months, or not depending upon what fate has in store.

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and we've just had a lovely curry made by The Brother and a particularly good sticky toffee pudding made by The Sister-in-Law. We will now be settling down for more wine than is good for us.
I am missing Madame as this is the first Christmas in ten years I will have spent without her but that is the card I have been dealt this year so I will have to make the best of it.
My heart hopes that next year Madame and I might celebrate Christmas together again, my head tells me otherwise but I will go down the road fate takes me.
I wish everyone who celebrates it a very Happy Christmas.
Peace and love. :-)

Get over it.

It makes me sad that nowadays everyone appears to be out for themselves with no thought for their fellow human beings. The house buyers are still messing about and causing me anxiety and stress but apparently I am paranoid and have to get over it. So my depression and stress are merely expressions of my paranoia and bear no relation to reality.
Pah! Off I go to get over it with a sardonic smile on my face.
Merry Christmas.

Grrrr!

So the expected contract exchange today didn't materialise. The person at the buyers conveyancing company wasn't even in the office today, the day they promised the exchange would take place. I am furious. Unfortunately for my solicitor and selling agent my ire can only be channelled through them so they have had the rough side of my tongue today. It really galls me that people can make promises and then not fulfil them. They forget that they are messing with people's lives by their dereliction of duty. If I got my hands on the loon who didn't do their job today the life of that individual would not be worth living. The exchange better take place tomorrow or else there will be hell on!
So, as I said in the post title Grrrr!

So...

...it's 10.45pm, I've had a couple of drinks and I now live near the coast which is something I always wanted to do. I hope that I can find a place around here so that when I move out of The Brother & Sister-in-Law's I can remain close to the sea.
That is not what I want to talk about though. My thoughts are with where I go from here life-wise and who if anyone will be going along with me. I still hanker after keeping Madame in my life but that is something I have no control over. I think my best course is to carry on with day-to-day life and see what happens without my trying to influence anything one way or another.
So as I said yesterday, I am going to carry on and live my life and anyone who wants to join in and tag along for the ride is welcome aboard.

Moved

I am now a resident of Amble, all goods and chattels are in storage until the new house has been bought so all I have to do now is wait on exchange of contracts and completion.
I will of course always be a Heddonlad even though I have left but I hope this move will lead to happier times. I intend to move forward with my life and anyone who wants to join me on my journey is welcome to tag along.

Moving

Friday 14 Dec-Well, I am now at The Brother's and in the process of finalising the packing up ready for everything to go into storage on Monday.
It will be strange for a while being here though living by the coast and having a change of  scenery will be welcome.
I'm not looking too hard at properties to buy just yet, I'm waiting for the house money to come through first just in case I see a place I really like but can't go for it as the money isn't available. I would like to find a place up here in Amble although again it might be a bit expensive so I'll also look at Ashington and maybe Ellington where places are a little cheaper. We'll see. For now I'm going to concentrate on finishing off the packing and getting settled in here.
Saturday 15/Sunday16 Dec- Another couple of days of packing done ready for the big move. I hadn't realised just how much stuff was in the house but it is pretty much ready to go now so when the removal men arrive on Monday we can be doing the last few bits upstairs whilst they start taking out the stuff from downstairs.
Much work has gone into getting to this stage and I cannot thank The Brother enough for all the work he has put in to help me, not only with the packing but also letting me stay with him and his wife, whom I shall henceforth refer to as The Sister-in-Law, until I buy the new Hall Towers.
So now I wait, I wait for the movers, I wait for exchange of contracts, I wait for completion, I wait for the money to clear, I wait to see what Madame is going to do in the future and whilst I wait I worry. I will be able to relax and stop worrying once the first four elements of The Wait have been and gone. The final element is out of my hands so that is not an issue to worry about.
I've said this before but I always thought the previous Hall Towers was an unhappy place; I now need to put any negativity behind me, look forward and try to make a new happier life for myself in mid-Northumberland.
Of course as I am a softy, part of me still hopes that Madame and I can move forward together but since I have no influence over what she does I must allow that area of my life take its course and get on with the parts I can affect.
I will also get back into writing and blogging on a regular basis with the hope and intention of entertaining both myself and any readers who stumble across my ramblings.
So finally; I hope that if I'm spared, this time next year I will be looking forward to celebrating Christmas in a new home.
Wish me luck.

I couldn't...

...possibly allow 12/12/12 to pass without writing something, so here it is.

Something.

I wonder sometimes...

at the way people seem to aim their cars rather than drive them.
It's as if the vehicle is an extension of the ego (for want of a better word) of the driver and they think they are invulnerable. They drive way over a safe speed and bully other drivers by tailgating and overtaking aggressively. They don't take account of the road or weather conditions and rely on luck and the good driving of other road users to avoid carnage.
The car is a mode of transport like any other, it shouldn't be a weapon or a toy and people who drive aggressively should be shot with shit from a short range spread shot shit shooter.

I don't know why I bother.

I wonder sometimes why I bother following the fortunes of Newcastle United. Currently they are losing 1-0 at half time against a team who haven't scored in the league in over 5 hours of play. Yet again an unlucky deflection wrong footing the goalkeeper. They should be murdering teams with the talent they have but time and again they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
They have been my team since I was old enough to know what football was and I have followed them through thick and thin but sometimes I wonder why.
Time and again they flatter to deceive but never seem to be able to take it to the next level and win something.
Now I know they've won two Championships in the fairly recent past but in order to do that they had to be relegated first.
I would love for them to use the talent currently at the club, win a few games and bring a trophy back to St James' Park. They are unlikely to win the Premier League this year so avoiding relegation would be a result in that area but they are through to the last 32 of the Europa League and still in the FA cup so lets see if they can surprise us all and win one of those trophies. As ever, we live in hope.
Still whatever happens they are my team and I will follow them as long as I have breath in my body but honestly sometimes I don't know why I bother.

Loneliness redux

Back in August I wrote about loneliness. At that time Madame was in the US considering her position with regard to our marital status and I was feeling pretty low. Things have moved on and since 22 November she and I have been divorced. That is not what I wanted.
You can't have everything you want in life so here we are and I am alone. Whether this is temporary or permanent in relation to Madame is an unknown, however whatever the future brings for our relationship it remains that I am on my own just now and feeling lonesome.
On the upside I will be moving in with The Brother until I can find a new place so at least I'll have a bit of company but yet again I'll be the third wheel. That seems to be my destiny in life, always the odd one out. To me there is nothing lonelier than being in that position. I hate being the odd one out.
I like to try and be as individual as I can. You know, not to follow the crowd but plough my own furrow. That doesn't alter the fact that I need to be in a partnership, to have someone to look after and support whilst being looked after and supported in turn. This being single malarkey is not for me. Having said that I don't know what to do to improve the situation.
What a conundrum. I suppose I'll have to make the best of things and hope that life looks up sooner rather than later.

Sunday morning.

Sorry about the slight delay there, just had to break up a kitty contretemps over a particular spot on the bed which they both wanted to occupy.
Where was I? Oh yes, Sunday morning and I've had my breakfast and am now going to read the papers before going to tackle the packing in the 'office' and do the last few bits that are lying around in the spare bedroom.
I decided upon boiled eggs this morning for breakfast since it has been ages since I had them and they go particularly well with toast slathered in lashings of Lurpak.
I decided that for my last week in the old homestead I would have butter instead of 'healthy' spread. I do like olive spread but sometimes only butter will do and as I'm now past caring I don't think having butter is a major sin.
I am going to keep off the beer today and probably all next week because it is that time of year when the Polis are hot on the trail of drink driving in the mornings as well as at night and you can easily fail a breath test without realising you are still over from the night before.
I find it very difficult to motivate myself sometimes and end up doing everything at the last minute which makes it difficult to relax. What I should be doing is packing stuff instead of writing this and reading the papers, the reading and writing should come after I've achieved something as a reward for work done rather than as an avoidance technique.
So off to do some packing, back later with a sitrep.
Right back for a rest. Two boxes filled and three bags of rubbish in the skip. Progress. Having a break to read a bit more of the paper then back to it. It does feel good to have done something. Mind you it always does, I know it does but still I never learn to do the job at hand then relax rather than do anything but the job at hand and worry about not having done the job at hand. Bit late now after 54 years but you never know, I may be the exception that proves the rule on the old dogs and new tricks thing.
By Jove, I'm knocking doors out of windows here, or is it windows out of doors? Either way, that's the last of the junk removed from the 'office' and three more boxes filled. A couple or three more should see everything from there packed apart from the printer and the broadband router which will be the last things to be done before I move.
Packed the spare bedding up. I'm getting there slowly but surely.
Even I'm getting bored with the reports of the packing progress so I'll stop now and write something more interesting another time.
Just one final thing, I wish I could get rid of this underlying feeling of sadness that is with me constantly just now. Maybe once I move but I just don't know.

I have a full skip.

That didn't take long. I've managed to fill the skip with junk to spare. This afternoon I'm going to have a little relax then fill a couple more moving boxes.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to see if I can squeeze a bit more into the skip then fill more moving boxes so that by Friday all that will need to be packed is the stuff that is being used on a daily basis.
This isn't very exiting but it helps to share my thoughts and gives me an incentive to keep going.
I have said it before but I'll be glad when I'm settled into The Brother's and can start looking for a new home in earnest.
On a lighter note, I have a couple of week-long work trips to Glasgow and Edinburgh on consecutive weeks between 14 and 25 Jan. It just so happens that my pal's band, The Loft Monster is appearing at the Griffin Bar in Glasgow on 19 Jan so I plan to stay over in Glasgow the middle weekend, go to the gig and catch up with him and his wife. It will be a pleasant change to get away and relax after the last 18 months or so which have been awful.

I have a skip.

Today I have a skip. So bacon sandwiches and a bit of cricket then out to the garage and the greenhouse to get rid of the remaining junk. It's a little frosty out there but that doesn't matter. It'll help keep me cool while I'm working.
Once I'm done out there I'll go along to the shop and get some beer to have with my bangers and mash for dinner tonight.
Not much else to say really, I've managed to get past my struggles of Tuesday but it's all still lying at the back of my mind. I need to get a grip and move forward. Let's hope I can once the move is done.

Struggling a bit today.

Madame was back over the weekend. I didn't see much of her, she stayed at an hotel because she said she wasn't sure if the house would be livable with me packing up and so on. Anyway, I saw her for a couple of hours here and there and we discussed a few logistics in relation to what is going on with us and all the stuff that is being stored.
My problem is, I dropped her off at the hotel last night and she said she was flying back to the US early this morning and it feels like I've lost her all over again. I am struggling to cope with the thought that this time she has gone for good apart from maybe a trip back at Easter to sort out some more stored stuff. I really hoped that we could make a shot at working out our problems and having another go at the relationship. We have agreed to see how things go but I still worry.
Now I know you are going to say, you're divorced, she doesn't want to try again, that's why she divorced you so get over it and get on with your life. The sensible side of me agrees with that.
My problem is that the romantic soppy side of me is in the ascendancy and has been for a while. That part of me is saying that you agreed to separate and once the new house was bought she would consider coming back on regular visits and you would travel to see her and the relationship would be gradually rebuilt. Again that is still what we have agreed but my pessimistic side, I have more sides than something with a load of sides but that is another story, is telling me that she is just saying that to keep me sweet while we wait for the money from the house and once that is divided up she'll wash her hands of me entirely.
The more optimistic side, see what I mean about sides, says that she has agreed on loads of occasions that she needs a bit of time to get set mentally and work-wise then she'll be able to relax a bit and look at life more positively and if we can keep calm and carry on and see where fate takes us we'll be fine.
I am torn, my mind is in turmoil and I'm operating on auto pilot. My outward persona is the usual cynical, wise-cracking front that I display to the world. Inside is a whole other kettle of fish, I feel like a lost little boy on the verge of tears all the time. There is a huge lump of sadness sitting in the pit of my stomach.
I feel like the slightest thing will send me over the edge into a full out depression. I certainly don't want that to happen, it is not a fun place to be.
The sooner the money comes through, the move is made and the pressure of packing is done with the better and I can at least move forward with a full out assault on finding a new place. I'm wary of looking too hard in case I find somewhere I really like and lose it because the cash hasn't come through. Still it's all in the hands of the solicitors I've signed what needs to be signed and answered all their questions so I'll just have to wait.
Once I've identified a couple of possibles I should feel a bit better and my mind will be occupied with getting to know the new place and the new people that will bring.
All I really want just now though is my (Ex) wife back on board and that, sadly is out of my control as well.
I can live in hope of things turning out as I wish but that doesn't stop my soppy, depressive and pessimistic sides from being in control just now.
Sorry for the miserable tenor of this post but it has been cathartic to ramble and if anyone has any ideas about how to squash the down sides and bolster the up please feel free to let me know.
It's now 6.45 pm and I have to say I'm feeling a little better than I did earlier. I still wish Madame would come back on board and that the house sale was sorted but both of these things are out of my control and as I said on an earlier blog Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.

A bit early but wtf

As I’m not sending out Christmas cards this year I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Been away, now back and sad.

I've been in Edinburgh since Monday, I do like Edinburgh but I'm home now. Madame has been here but has gone again as she has a meeting somewhere down Yorkshire way. I hope to see her before she goes back to the USA but I don't know what she is doing since now the divorce has gone through she is free to do as she pleases although we had agreed not to go ahead and hope for the best. I really think I was deluding myself thinking we might get back together. I think she has decided its over and goodnight Vienna, tough bunnies baldy.
Anyway, it's good to be home, hotels are fine but even this place which I'm leaving soon is better than that. I am feeling a little sad at the moment, because the divorce feelings are kicking in now.
I'll try to be a bit more positive next time, I just needed to get it out of my system.
Feeling a bit sad, TTFN.

Raining again

Are we having the wettest period since Noah set up his Ark? It's been raining since before I can remember, everywhere is sodden and there doesn't appear to any let up. 
Or does it just seem like that? I'm sure there have been dry periods, in fact thinking about it I was off work two weeks ago and it was dry the whole week along with the fact most of the weekends The Brother has been around to help with the packing have been dry as well. 
Perhaps its just my perception that it has been raining non-stop for months, because in reality there have been loads of dry days as evidenced by the fact that The Brother and I have been able to work outside and view houses whilst staying dry.
Perception is a strange thing, what one person sees as a slight another sees just as an innocent motiveless action. Here's an example. Since Madame and I announced that we were divorced my ex Sister-in Law has changed her profile picture on Facebook to show her and her husband in a loving pose. Now is that a dig at Madame? Is she saying, look I'm still happily married and you're not? Or is it her reaffirming to herself and the rest of Facebook that she is OK and there's nothing to worry about with her relationship? To put people's minds at rest so to speak. I don't know, my first reaction when I saw it was that it was a dig at Madame, then I thought it was a dig at me, but I'm not high on her list of priorities and never have been so that is a non-starter, it was more likely the former. I doubt that is the case, but as you can see just in those few lines I've managed to make what could be an innocuous change of a Facebook profile picture into a major incident or not depending on how you approach it. Isn't life complicated?
Again, on the perception front, despite all my optimism about how despite the fact that we are now divorced, Madame and I will remain friends and maybe get back together sometime I still have a doubt in my mind that despite all the fine words (which butter no parsnips by the way) when she comes over next week she will come with the message that it is completely done with and she is seeing someone else or isn't and will be living the single life and is happier alone. Maybe she has just been saying that we can remain friends and see what transpires for my benefit, just to keep me quiet or she is entirely genuine and that is what she intends to do. Who knows? 
It is best just to go with the flow and try not to over analyse the whole thing. If our situation was put to ten people you would get ten differing opinions depending upon the perception each person has of the people involved, Madame and me, and of the situation itself.
You can read much into small things or just let them pass and get on with it depending upon how you perceive the intentions behind them. You can't second guess motives any more than you can read someone's mind so perhaps it is best to look on the positive side and try to not read ulterior motives into the things people do and live for the day and try not to second guess what the future might bring.
As Horace puts it:
"Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero"
(Which according to Wikipedia translates as – Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future.) 
and as I would like to say:
Ne coneris praedicere alii motivis - Don't try to predict others motives.
That's enough Latin for now.
Per Ardua Ad Astra (oops, more Latin, wish I'd learned it at school)
TTFN.

Optimistic.

I am optimistic about moving forward from where I am now. I was in a very dark place for a long time and I now know that it was caused by me hanging on to a life I wasn't happy with but couldn't see any other way of living. This stems from long before I was married, I was trying to live a life I imagined I should be living rather than the one I wanted to live. Getting married again was a chance to break out of that cycle which I didn't take. I have another chance now to move on with the house sold and new opportunities beckoning. I hope that madame will be part of it as well, but I can't influence that.
In future I need to look at life in a freer way, don't hold on to that which makes me sad and unhappy, embrace change and make my life a brighter existence by being sensible about what I can and can't do.
As I said, I hope that madame will remain part of my life but in a positive way based on a new attitude towards one another.
I really need to take a hard look at my attitude towards things, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. I think that is what we have done with our current situation.
A new place to live will make a huge difference as well, there will be lots of new things to see and do and new people to meet. I am tired of living in the past, it is time to look to the future one day at a time.
With a new approach I hope that madame will see what she saw in me in the first place and be able to get past the more recent past. If not, well I hope we can remain in contact and on good terms so we can move forward and I will have to deal with it.

A new beginning

My divorce came through this week. My second. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one marriage is unfortunate but to lose two smacks of carelessness and that is pretty much how I feel about the whole thing just now.
 In retrospect my first marriage was a mistake, I was young and away from home for the first time. I grasped on to the first person who showed any affection in a strange town and it ended up as a bit of a disaster for all involved. Both our lives are better for having split up all those years ago. Not that it felt like that at the time.
This second attempt was a little more successful. However it has still ended in divorce. The point this time is that we remain in communication with each other and I think we will remain friends, I feel that we were both a bit defensive and stubborn lately and that feeling has been released, at least for me and I hope for her as well.
We can now let time and fate take us where we are meant to go rather than struggle on and try to influence that which we have no control over. Interestingly we had agreed to not finalise the divorce but it seems that it went through anyway but we are where we are and not much we can do about it.
I have to say that I feel quite sanguine about the whole situation, the deed has now been done so that is one less thing to worry about and if we do end up deciding we've made a mistake well there is nothing stopping us from starting again. We don't even need to remarry we could just keep calm and carry on to coin a phrase.
If, however we go our separate ways completely and either end up with other people or stay single I think that we will still have a connection and be able to remain friendly with one another, there is no law that says you have to be enemies with an ex. In fact I think our relationship may be better semi-detached as we can get together when we want and be apart when we feel the need. I think that there was an element of feeling trapped for both of us which caused a lot of tension and led to the behaviour which finally broke the marriage up. That tension has now been removed and with the obstacle gone we can relax a little and get along much better. Fingers crossed.
No one can predict the future, as my dear old mam used to say, what has to be will be. I think we can look to the future with optimism, live for today and let tomorrow look after itself. Life is too short to get strung up on what might have been. We have to accept the hand we have been dealt and live in hope.
It is the hope that we can both be happier in our new situation that makes me more optimistic for the future. I have generally been one who is scared to hope for the best because the worst might happen. That way of thinking is often self fulfilling, it is like you are glad that the worst happened so that you can say see, I told you so and remain in the dark place, never allowing yourself to be happy. All things change, that seems to be the way life is. By learning to embrace change as a positive thing and move forward instead of clinging on to the familiar when it is the familiar that is keeping you in the dark place one can open the blinds and let the light of optimism and hope in to dispel the darkness.
I don't know what the future holds, no-one can. What one can do is take the future by the hand and make it your friend. In fact I suppose there is no such thing as the future. As the old saying goes, tomorrow never comes. It is today when it arrives.
Live for today as you never know how many more todays you have left.
I'm not suggesting that there shouldn't be contingency plans in place. I fully intend to try and put a little aside for a rainy day out of the house proceeds. What I am saying is that I'm going to stop over-thinking everything and trying to imagine every possible thing that could go wrong, that way leads to depression and don't I know it.
I propose to deal with life as it flows by, plan for the things I know I need to do such as work trips and buying a new place and deal with the unexpected when it occurs, that's why it's called the unexpected.
I spent too much time trying to second guess life and forgot how to live it. That cost me my second marriage. I hope to be able to kindle a new relationship with madame based on my refreshed ethos; if not, well I'll see where fate takes us.
I'll stop now before I ramble further.
With love and affection to all. Per Ardua Ad Astra my friends.

The Story

The Story hasn't moved on at all. I can't get a good run at setting it rolling again. I have started on a new piece, it is The Tale of Francisco, aka The Tale. This means I now have The Story, The Tale and The Story of the Mary M all on the stocks at once. Not to mention a couple of nascent poems, I think I may have to prioritise a tad.
My inclination is to put Mary M to one side, write The Tale longhand on the pad I've started it on when the urge takes me but put a bit more effort into The Story once I've moved into The Brother's.
I need to get poor Bob married and on his way to wherever he's going PDQ before I lose the plot, what there is of it. I think I've said this before but The Story has a life of it's own.
The Tale is something I just started today on a spare pad I had lying around because I was a bit bored and wasn't near my laptop to do some more of The Story. The Tale so far has a Spanish Civil War Republican veteran turned monk, living in France approached by an old friend and comrade to help him with the torture and assassination of a Nationalist officer. That's as far as I've got so far. I'll develop it as and when the urge comes upon me and I have a pad around. I've kept the first three pages in the pouch at the back of my Moleskine notebook so I can get up to speed when I do want to write some more.
I mustn't start any more writing though until at least one of these guys sees the light of day. I don't want to spread my genius to thinly (modest cough).
Anyway, it's time to put the rubbish bin out and then decide on dinner. TTFN.

First day back

Well that's my first day back at work after the week off and it was ok, not millions of e-mails to deal with and just a couple of minor jobs to finish off so all-in-all a reasonable re-introduction to wage slavery. I hope the rest of the week is as good.
Nothing much else to report really, having a couple of evenings off the packing up and then I'll do a little bit more. I'm waiting to see how much more the movers will charge to do the packing up and if it isn't huge amounts I'll get them to do what's left apart from what I'm taking with me to The Brother's.
Tonight I will be mainly eating the remainder of the salmon and potato curry with ice cream to follow washed down with Stella Artois. I will also be attempting to chill and see if I can practice a bit of relaxing. It has been a while since I've felt able to sit back and take a moment for myself so tonight is it I think.
I'll be off now, wish me luck with the relaxing. TTFN.

Well.

That was a productive week off. Much junk chucked away, loads of stuff boxed up, a quote received  from a mover who will store my goods and give me access so I don't have to have two lots of storage costs and a decision made to order a skip for the final throwing away session in a couple of weeks time.
I've also decided that I don't need to rush into buying a new place and may wait until the Christmas holidays are over and I'm back from my work trips in January before I go headlong into concentrated house-hunter mode from February onwards.
I'll keep getting details of properties from the agent in the hope that The House will jump out at me. I am not going to rush the process though so that when I do buy I will be buying what I want and will be comfortable in not somewhere that is not quite right.
For the rest of the weekend I'm going to relax and maybe write a bit more of The Story which I have neglected terribly recently. Early next week I'll sort out the two fridge freezers so that they can be disposed of via the Council when moving day comes and start gradually packing up books and other stuff until all that is left will be those things which I need daily.
It all seems less daunting than it did a month ago. I want to thank The Brother for his help to get me to this point.
Let us hope and pray that once I've moved and the mortgage and so on have been cleared I can relax a bit. With that my mood should improve, my stress levels drop so I can enjoy Christmas and look forward to the New Year with hope and optimism.
Per Ardua Ad Astra.

Its strange...

...but I've always felt that this is a sad and lonely house. It stands in its plot, a square brick house looking lonesome. There are other houses nearby which don't have the some sad look to them, not dissimilar houses but they don't have the same lonely air.
It seems like there's a cloud of unhappiness that even on a sunny day casts a shadow of gloom over the place.
I hope that the new owners can lift this cloud and that they have a long and happy time here. I also hope that by moving on I'll be leaving that sadness and loneliness behind to be destroyed by the new folks and that I too can start on a happier road than I've been on for longer than I can remember.
Let's hope the change is beneficial for everyone and everything and that happiness can come to all.

Yet more progress.

The clearing and packing goes on. The big wardrobe which I was worried about is now dismantled and stands in easily removable pieces to be taken to the tip on Friday. The other problem was the sideboard which is now in the van ready to go to the tip as well, so both the huge pieces which were concerning me are now dealt with.
We have de-cluttered the spare bedroom, or I should say re-cluttered the spare bedroom. At least we know what needs to go where now so although it looks like a bomb site it is a bomb site with a purpose.
The man from the moving company is coming either this afternoon or tomorrow to give me an idea on prices for moving and storage along with self-storage of the different types of articles that need to moved and stored or self-stored.
I am stopping for today and will start again tomorrow.
I'm feeling much more positive about the whole moving process now that some stuff is boxed up and a plan is emerging for the remainder.
I might even give Bob a little shove in the right direction with some writing of The Story later on.
TTFN

More progress

The dining room is now sorted, all we have to do is take the old sideboard to the tip and see about getting someone to take the dining table.
We've started on the spare bedroom which isn't as bad as I thought, so we should get that done by the end of the day tomorrow.
Onwards and upwards.
Oh and the chilli lasagne was very nice. I've just had some more of it tonight with a baked potato and there's enough left for tomorrow with chips.
What a gourmand I am.
TTFN.

Progress

Well, it's 3.40 pm and that is one room pretty much done. Started with the room nearest the back door so that it can be used as a transit point for stuff. I'll tell you what though, we've raised some dust, I'm sneezing like a sneezie thing in a very sneezie place. Still its worth it to see some progress being made.
I'm stopping for the day now, and I'll start again tomorrow with the invaluable help of The Brother.
My Chilli Lasagna is in the oven; so, later Comrades.

Geronimo!

Today is the beginning of the big push to clear the last of the stuff out of the garage, sort out the greenhouse and the storage box. With luck and a fair wind that should be done today. I also need to speak to the solicitor to see how the contracts are progressing and then the estate agent to talk about a new place, I might also ask her about renting a lock-up garage as that may be a cheaper option than self-storage.
Tomorrow through to Saturday will be packing up stuff that isn't needed regularly and removing any extra furniture that won't be going into the new place or self storage for sale later.
So, all in all it looks like a busy week ahead.
If you are of a sensitive disposition I would skip this paragraph. I came down this morning to confirmation that kitties are not always as cute and cuddly as we make them out to be and are, in fact cold blooded killers. Upon walking into the living room I was greeted by the sight of a dead mouse which had not only been killed but flayed, the skin had been peeled back from its whole body. We just have to hope that the poor little thing died early in the assault and didn't feel much pain.
OK, you can come back now.
The Brother is coming down a couple of days this week to help out with the packing up, which is very decent of him. At least someone will be around to lighten the load. I hope that by Saturday night I will be ready for the movers, whom I will be calling to organise a quote for moving my stuff into both their storage and the self-storage premises as soon as I find out a moving date .
As I've been so busy I've been neglecting The Story which has only has moved on a little since it has been on the back burner for the past couple of weeks. I think that is where it will have to remain until this busy period is ended and I can find some time to settle down and have a proper crack at getting Bob married and off to his new life in wherever the story takes him.
So off to make more coffee then once The Brother arrives outside to tackle the garage and greenhouse.
TTFN.

Remembrance Day

Today is Remembrance Day and for once it falls on Remembrance Sunday. This is the day when we remember all those who fell in wars past and present.
Many have said that it is an anachronism in modern times to remember the dead of wars long ended. I don't agree, the lives we recall today were lost not only in long ago wars but in current conflicts, you may disagree with wars or the reasons for them; I certainly do, but we are not celebrating war any more than we are celebrating death. We are bringing to mind and giving thanks for the lives and the sacrifices made by countless service men and women, as well as the civilian victims of conflicts throughout the world who died for many reasons, some of which we agree with and some of which we don't.
Their deaths are a sad reflection on the way our governments, politicians and big business chose to run the world. These people, victims if you want to call them that, are those we remember today. We are not celebrating anything, we are showing our support for those who died and those who were left behind to cope with, injury, grief and loss.
So please don't disparage what goes on today and remember that for our tomorrow, they gave their today.

On me holidays.

I am now on my holidays. Although it won't be much of a rest as there is much to be done this week. Tomorrow is house hunting, Sunday farting about then from Monday onwards I'll be packing all the stuff which I won't need in the near future, getting rid of some more junk and farting around a bit more.
Wish me luck in my endeavours as I'll need it considering the amount of stuff I have to sort out still. Luckily I will have the stalwart support of The Brother and I'm ready with a few moving boxes purchased earlier this month.
So, have at it chaps and we'll see what the result is by this time next week.
TTFN.

Sorry....

...I haven't been around to 'entertain' you lately. I'm still busy house hunting and worrying. Once I'm finished with those two activities I''l be back full bore, in both senses of the word.
Poor old Bob has been stuck in limbo waiting to ask the Reverend Byng for Helen's hand in marriage for weeks now. I will get back to The Story as soon as I can before I forget the point of the whole thing.
More later, TTFN.

House hunting

So, I've had a morning of house hunting.
I had a look at one place in Amble which didn't fit the bill but Ashington has produced a few good options. I'll be going back next week to look at three or four places the very helpful, not to mention beautiful young lady at the estate agents will be picking out for me.
They are mainly old pit terraces, the rooms are big and each house has a long narrow garden which will be ideal for a little bit of vegetable growing and a nice space to sit if the sun ever shines.
I hope to find somewhere, there is plenty of scope.
Ashington seems like a pleasant town with plenty of shops and restaurants. The people seem friendly so I hope it will be a good place to live. It is also not far to drive to work and has a good bus service if I don't want to drive.
More later.

Been busy

Sorry I haven't said much here lately, I've been busy since the house sold on Monday. Once I get myself back on an even keel I'll be back to bore you all.
Something to look forward to for you.

And breathe.

House sold OK, relax everyone. :-)
New subjects for blog in next few weeks. The search for Hally Towers 2.

Apprehensive

I was going to move Bob along a little tonight but I can't concentrate on my writing. I'm nervous about the house auction tonight, I'm scared that it won't sell for enough to cover all the things we need it to. So Bob will have to wait a bit longer before he goes to talk to Reverend Byng.
I should know by 11 pm GMT how much the house went for, if it goes that is.
Cross your fingers, hold your thumbs or do whatever you do for luck where you are. I will be on tenterhooks until later. Arrrgh!

100 words and its blinking freezing.

Well, Bob has moved forward another hundred words and now knows what he has to do, so that's a result. I'll write some more later but I have to do a bit of research into getting US citizenship in the 1860's and more about the Homestead Act so Bob can do what he needs to do to get The Story moving forward a bit faster.
Having said that, there's no real rush to get the thing finished. It's not like I have any sort of deadline. Writing this is just to keep me occupied so I can take my time and enjoy the process. I hate deadlines, so I shouldn't set them for myself when they aren't necessary. I have enough writing deadlines at work, thanks very much.
It is also blinking freezing, I'm sitting with the heater on and a blanket around my legs like a little old man. Mind you it could be argued that I am a little old man, although 54 is not old, it just feels like 104 at times. Today being one of them. Of course 4 bottles of Beck's and 4 cans of Old Speckled Hen last night doesn't exactly help me to feel young and bouncy today. I used to be able to drink, but I'm out of practice I suppose.
There is still some beer left so I can practice some more tonight since I've decided not to go out with the weather being so poor. I don't like the cold. That's probably why I live in a country that is generally cold. I could move but I'm not sure where. I had hoped that one day I could have gone to a warm part of the US with Mrs H but I don't think that is an option. You never know, but it doesn't feel like it is just at the moment.
OK, onwards and upwards, another cup of coffee and then we'll get some research done for Bob and The Story.
TTFN

Snow

It snowed a bit last night, not loads but it came as a bit of a surprise because it was forecast. Now there's a place for snow, just not here!
I had planned a trip into town to get my hair cut and have a couple of beers but I don't think I'll bother now, I can't face traipsing along the road in the cold and slippery conditions to do something that can wait.
Instead, I'm going to write a bit of The Story, poor Bob has been sitting with Heinrich and a bottle of whiskey for ages, he ought to have come up with a decision by now. So that's it, Bob will move on today I hope. Watch this space.
TTFN.

Deluding myself.

I have been thinking, I know, I know I've been told that I shouldn't but it just crept up on me and bosh! there I was thinking. Sorry it was an accidental think, it wasn't planned, it just sort of turned up uninvited. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I've been thinking that I've been deluding myself over the last few weeks if I ever imagined that I would be staying, no, I'm changing the subject.
It's been a funny old day, wet and drizzly, then sunny, then drizzly again. It's supposed to be cold tomorrow so we should expect a frosty start. We got loads done at work today, so that was good.
My new Samsung Galaxy SIII Android phone which was delivered yesterday is pretty good; I'm going to get a cover for I think to keep it from getting damaged. It's amazing what they can produce these days. I've owned less powerful computers in the past, mobile phone technology is incredible.
Still haven't won the Lotto, one day I suppose.
Going now as I can't write what I want to just in case, so I'll stop now and come back to the subject another day.
Until then, be safe and try to be happy.

Broadband is fun

Every month around this date it seems the download speeds on my broadband service plummet to unacceptably low levels. I phone the provider and every time they try to take me through the same old tests which only go to prove that it isn't my problem, it's their service to the router.
We managed to get a man on the moon in 1969, someone recently broke the speed of sound in a free fall parachute jump from the edge of space, people have lived in a space station and the Hubble space telescope can send back pin-sharp pictures from space but my ISP can't get a broadband service to work properly over a distance of 3 miles. They need to realise that they are supposed to be providing a service and me having to call once a month to get them to sort out this 'service' is not in any way shape or form a service.
ISPs always blame the customers and it is rarely the customer's fault. I wish they'd just sort themselves out!
Incoherent rant over, TTFN.

Run out of new stuff to say.

I've been writing so much on this blog lately about the house sale and the de-cluttering and how miserable I am that I'm starting to bore myself with it all. So I'm giving it a rest for a few days until I've got something worthwhile to say that doesn't bang on about the same old same old.
Until the house is sold and I know how much money I have to find a new place I'll shut up. Once I start looking for the new place in Amble or wherever I'll give you an insight into the fun I'm having, until then I'm keeping my gob shut unless I have something really, really interesting or important to report.
TTFN

Swing low.

I'm feeling a little low today. I was awake into the early hours of this morning worrying about the logistics and cost of this whole moving thing. There is so much to do and so many things to pay for. The only help I'm getting is from the Brother for which I'm very grateful.
I made a list of what needs to be done which helped me get to sleep but there is still that undercurrent of worry nagging away which won't go away until everything is sorted.
I will be in real need of a proper relaxing break somewhere, preferably warm, once everything is dealt with. I can then take stock and see what to do next.
I think this low mood is just a tiredness slump, I'm still looking forward to the move to a new life so I don't think depression has set in again. I certainly hope not, but, as I say it seems to be a mental and physical fatigue issue.
Anyway, that's all. I'm preparing myself for the Sunderland vs NUFC Derby game at lunchtime. I'll be in front of the TV with a couple of beers willing the Mighty Magpies on to victory.
TTFN.

The Weekend

This weekend started a little earlier than planned as I gave up the unequal struggle to work on the interview script and took Friday as a days holiday instead.
It's now Saturday and the weather looks good for another trip down to the tip. This time I'm taking old clothes to go in the clothing recycling bins. I'm slowly getting rid of stuff, but I'll be glad when it's sorted. Everything is a bit of a drag at the moment but once this is all done and the formalities are dealt with we should feel a lot more comfortable with life. Fingers crossed!
Coffee then the de-clutter continues. A load of bags in the van ready to go.
That's me back from the tip, sorry recycling centre and the sausages are on for brunch. 3 more viewings today plus one who just turned up and was told to make an appointment. Rude people, just expecting to be allowed into the place. Why does common courtesy walk out the door as soon as you put your house up for sale?
Anyway, the rest of today I'm setting aside to try and get some more of The Story written and maybe do a bit of reading. I'll start next Saturday with some more rooms; as I said, finish off the 'office' and move into either the spare bedroom or the dining room. Have I said that I'll be glad when all this is sorted? Thought so.
Been to the shop and topped up on kitty food and litter plus some beer for tonight and the match tomorrow. Chilling watching St Mirren vs Celtic, it's not going well for the Buddies, Celtic up 4-0 at half time. NUFC connections on both sides with Paul Dummett on for the Buddies and Fraser Forster in goal for Celtic. I doubt there'll be any heroic comebacks but you never know.
I was right, no comeback. Now sitting hemmed in by kitties again with a beer and rugby league on the TV. Might go for a snooze once the beer is finished, assuming I can get out from under the kitty pile.
Back from a good snooze. Tea is now cooking; pork chops sliced into strips with cubed potatoes in a tomato and vegetable sauce doing slowly in the oven.  That was tea and it was lovely, mind you as I said on Twitter, self praise is no praise at all. That doesn't alter the fact it was lovely.
Now for a bit of TV and maybe another beer whilst hoping that the Lotto comes up.
TTFN

Not Foggy Friday

Finally the fog has lifted and the sun has made a welcome appearance. I however, am now hemmed in by two snoozing kitties who have decided that they should have a competition to find out how close they can get to me without actually wearing my shirt. They do make good company though even if they aren't the finest conversationalists I've ever encountered. Also on the plus side they are not as heavy and slobbery as some dogs I've met. Now I like dogs but I wouldn't want to have one as a pet. All that taking them out for walks on wet and miserable evenings in the winter puts me off straight away, me being a) lazy and b) not fond of being cold and/or wet.
Something else that has been exercising my braincell lately is the desire to be able to make a living as a writer and blogster. After 35 years as a shiny arsed pen-pusher working for Her Majesty I would like to be able to be a shiny arsed pen-pusher working for myself. I wonder what the best way to make that transition would be? I suppose I should persevere with The Story and keep rambling on here until the penny drops with the public at large that I am a genius who should be feted and showered with money and accolades. Feel free to start any time.

Foggy Friday

It's a foggy Friday morning and today I decided to work at home on an interview script which needs to be expanded to have a bit more detail added. I've got the skeleton and a general direction so it shouldn't be to difficult. I decided to work at home because it is hard to concentrate in the office surrounded by people shouting across desks to one another and holding loud conversations right behind where I sit. The joys of the open plan office, it just takes one person with a loud or distinctive voice to kill the ability to concentrate.
Added to that I hate driving in the fog, so I'll not risk going out in it today.
I might also have another look at the dreaded Power Point presentation (I love alliteration, me) and try to add a few more notes and some slides. If you hear screams you'll know I'm working on the PP.
On a different subject, at least the fog has lifted a little on the de-cluttering. Tomorrow I intend to take all the old clothes I bagged up the other week down to the recycling centre along with a load of old papers out of the 'office'. If I can get that little room sorted out it will lift the inertia that was starting to settle back upon me this week.My Brother will be down next Saturday so we can start on the other rooms, depending on how the 'office' goes I might start on the dining room and continue with that if needs be the following week when the Brother is here. Then I think the spare bedroom, the main bedroom and finally the sitting room. By then it should be around the end of November and at that point I can get the movers in to take the furniture and household effects into storage until the new place is found and bought. I'll take the other stuff to self storage and myself to my temporary accommodation, either with the brother or wherever.
Tell you what though. It will be good once the house sale is done with and everyone is paid so I know how much is left for a new place. I hope that then this underlying anxious feeling will go away and I can relax a bit.
To be able to relax would be great, it has been a long time since I could sit back without the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something is wrong. I really hope that a change of location and fewer financial commitments will make for a more relaxed Heddonlad. A more relaxed Heddonlad means a more fun Heddonlad which in turn benefits everyone, well some people anyway, let's not get carried away.
I don't actually remember the last time I was truly relaxed and comfortable with life. There always seems to be something. Now though I am going to try and worry less about the things I can't influence and do something about the things that I can, instead of concerning myself with the former and worrying about the latter.
I really should do some work on that interview script, at this rate I'll be working on it at midnight. I should close the Twitter and Facebook tabs, stop looking at e-mails and writing on here and get on with it. Can procrastination be classed as a hobby?
If this working thing doesn't start soon I think I'll just bite the bullet, accept the inevitable and take the day as holiday, eases the guilt and legitimises doing diddly-squat all day except blog and write. Its not that I'm not productive,its just that my productivity is leaning towards the extra-curricular today. Decision made, day off it is.
The Story continues. 4001 words and Bob is now on the horns of a dilemma. It seems neither of his jobs are suitable to allow him to marry Helen. One is unacceptable to Reverend Byng, the other too dangerous in the eyes of his prospective bride. As we speak he is talking to his boss Heinrich over a bottle of whiskey, trying to work out what to do. I wonder, is it wise for Bob to plan his future with a drink on board? We shall see, I hope!

Chicken

Tonight I will be having chicken. I found some frozen chicken breasts in the freezer so I'm cooking them up and will have them tonight for tea.
I love chicken, not as much as I love scones, or cake, or even beer but in the list of foodstuffs I love its up there next to mince. Where was I? Oh yes, chicken, I have a very soft spot for chicken as do the kitties who will not rest until they have had their share. Actually I'm a bit bored with talking about chicken much as I love it, I think I'll change the subject.
I'm a bit bored, I'm stuck at an impasse with The Story, I can't get Bob to move forward. I really need to have a look again at how he leaves Cleveland OH, if in fact he does leave yet. Maybe he should stay for a few thousand more words and have a couple more adventures, maybe not adventures as such, more like life really. He doesn't have to leap tall buildings and rescue damsels in distress just do some interesting things which get him moving in the right direction again. He can have adventures later in this and other stories.
Right time to go and get the kitties their medication and have a shot at moving Bob into the next phase of his life.

Post number 125.

This is my 125th post. I hope it's worth it. It must be interesting, humorous and informative unlike the 124 which went before.
So here goes.
My Winter beard is coming along nicely, I have to resist the temptation to trim it myself because that normally ends up with me shaving it off having make a complete bulls lug of the whole process. From now on I will go to a barber and have the whole lot done properly. I'll have the baldy bit on top polished with the sides and chin neatly coiffed so that it doesn't end up looking like a badly tended mushroom patch. I will of course leave the moustache to grow luxuriant so that it can be waxed for special occasions and become a talking point once more.
The Summer look is all very well but I do prefer the full beard of Winter which keeps out the cold and allows for a handy snack to be always close, especially after sloppy foods or soup. Enough of that though, the Winter beard is a tradition which began some years ago and I like to maintain that tradition as an alternative to scarves or roll-neck sweaters, both of which have their place in my wardrobe but are a complement to, rather than a replacement for the Winter beard.
There is a Summer version which is more of a goatee, although I do tend to shave the whole Heddonlad bonce including chins on a more regular basis in the months of June through August. From September onwards a light stubble begins to show through and by Christmas the full fadge is on display until at least Easter when the lighter growth kicks in and the goatee reappears for its Spring and early Summer outing.
So there you have it, blog post number 125 complete. I hope it will be as much fun to read as it was to write. I'll leave that last sentence open to your own interpretation.
I'll bet you can't wait for number 150 or even 200!

Need to travel.

I hope once the house is sold and the downsizing is sorted I can start travelling again.
I miss going to different places, seeing and experiencing new things and meeting new people. I have Mrs H to thank for much of the travel I did over the past few years because she was kind enough to allow me to tag along on some of her business trips.
I did travel a bit before she came along but the best trips, apart from my first journey to Australia which was wonderful thanks to my old pal Mr Sutton and his lovely wife Christine, were to places she let me go to with her. We also had some good trips to Ohio and Yuma, AZ to visit her family.
Anyway, I doubt those days will ever return so I have to work on saving up to take trips on my own or with Mrs H if she is still on board in the future.
Trips such as those long cross country rail journeys in the USA, Canada or Australia might have to wait until I retire but I think a few shorter expeditions to places like Poland, the Czech Republic or Slovakia would be good. Not to mention reacquainting myself with Spain and the Netherlands, The Hague is a particular favourite place of mine. I would like to return to Washington DC, Columbia SC and Vancouver BC as well, so time to start saving!
When I do start travelling again my blogs might become a little more interesting and less introspective. We live in hope, eh?

PowerPoint...arrgh!

I'm currently writing a PowerPoint presentation for work. It revolves around the various documents a business uses to keep track of what they are doing. I'm tying myself in knots trying to cross refer what each document or account is for and how they relate to one-another.
I'm becoming more and more confused as I try to keep things simple and not get the slides looking too 'busy' whilst still setting out enough information to be a basis for the deliverer's notes. The notes, oh dear, the notes. They seem to be getting more and more convoluted as I move through the slides.
This is supposed to be a simple PowerPoint presentation to reinforce what has already been learned in other material. I'm beginning to think I need to look up the definition of simple in the dictionary because what I'm producing certainly isn't simple just now!
Anyway, back to the grind, I needed a break and to get that off my chest. Simple, it's supposed to be simple! Onwards and upwards.

Today I am 54 years old.

It's my 54th Birthday today and my heart has been warmed by all the messages wishing me a good day. These days Facebook messages seem to have taken over from cards but I think that although it is nice to receive a card on one's birthday, crikey I sound like the Queen but you know what I mean, a message on Facebook or Twitter can be just as welcome. At least it shows the person sending the message has taken the time out to do it and it would be churlish to say that greetings sent via such electronic media are any less welcome than a card. All good wishes are welcome in my book, as has been said on many occasions its the thought that counts. Large cheques would of course never be refused although electronic transfer is equally welcome.
Anyway, with Mrs H away it is pleasing to know that so many people have a kind thought for yours truly.

Lazy Sunday morning

But then I'm lazy every morning. Another lovely Autumn day out there is beckoning me towards the garage. The trouble is I'm being snuggled up to by a nice warm kitty and I can't really be bothered to shift her. The stuff in the garage will still be there tomorrow and if it isn't at least I'll not have to sort it out.

Speaking of garages, I'm going to have to start thinking about what to do with the van. It isn't looking like it will get sold before I move so I'll have to find a good place to park it safely. I could always stick it on ebay but what with selling and de-cluttering the house I'm not sure I want to be bothered with people who want to test drive it and so on. Another decision to be made and I hate making decisions. I'll have to do something with it though, it can't sit on the street in Amble for ever. I'll put it on ebay in November that way there'll be no more folks looking at the house because all being well it will have sold which will leave me time to show it to people.
My pal John has been round and taken the last of the concrete slabs so that's them out the way. He's also going to take a few of the plant pots as I won't need them all. Bit by bit the clutter is going, phew!
I'll be glad when all this malarkey is finished with. I'll need a holiday, it's a toss-up between not going away anywhere and having a few days off to get to know my new surroundings and settle into the new place or go somewhere before I move into the new place just to have a proper break. Or both. It's hard to decide what to do. It'll probably be best to wait and see for now and not plan too far ahead. Although a long weekend in Glasgow to meet up with my pals Mr N and Curly McLucas might be a good idea added to another to settle in and reconnoitre. We'll see.
The Story has moved along as well, 3680 words so far find Bob about to make another momentous decision. Who knows where he'll be by the time we hit 5,000. Time will tell, I haven't exactly mapped out where the tale is going, it evolves each time I sit down to write some more. The general direction remains the same, but the route keeps altering.
It's my 54th birthday tomorrow which makes me a Libra and 54 tomorrow. I'm following @EverythingLibra on Twitter at the moment. It's amazing how what they say about Libran traits relates to my character. Having said that, we Librans don't believe in such mumbo jumbo.
So I think its time to read the Sunday papers and have another cup of coffee. Later I'll write some more of The Story before dinner. I like this writing thing, I wish I could write well enough to make a living out of it. If The Story gets a good reception when I decide to make it public the whole thing could take off. Who knows? Stranger things have happened at sea, which you might discover when I get around to writing more on 'The Story of the Mary M'.
The sun's 'a shinin'. If this was August it would be as hot as the hobs of hell but as it is the mellow month of October it is a lovely cool day just right for not sorting through stuff in the garage. Coffee and Sunday papers time in case you'd forgotten so the garage can wait.
When this move is over I'm not sure what I'll find to write about. Probably my daily doings in Amble or wherever I end up. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Into the weekend

Right. The weekend starts here. I have a can of beer by my side and am getting set for a bit of writing, a bit of TV and a relax before tomorrow when the garage de-clutter recommences. I hope that by this time tomorrow the main clutter will be gone leaving only the stuff which is going to self storage or into the skip. I can then start to work on the house room by room starting with the 'office' which has been taunting me for a while. I should start doing some clearing in the evenings. Trouble is by the time I get home from work I just want to rest and can't raise the energy to start digging through drawers and cupboards. I must be a bit more disciplined about it from now on. Pah! How likely is that?
Another viewing of the house Saturday morning at 11 am, all grist to the mill. I'll be de-cluttering so the agent can get on with it. I really hope a lot of these folks will turn up at the auction and bid up and up to a good price. We live in hope.
Had a  few beers and some chocolate, written a few more words of The Story, watched a bit of TV and given in to the kitties demands for more food. Not to mention a bit of Twitter interaction. A fairly successful relax session then. BBC2 for QI then to bed for a read.
Loins girded for the continuation of the garage de-clutter tomorrow.
Its a bright and dry Saturday morning. I hope it stays like this for a few hours so that I can get some more stuff out of the garage leaving me extra time for the house. My brother is due to come down so that will give me the incentive to do more than I would on my own. I work better in a team usually.
Once the garage is done, I'm going to do a room at a time which will mean 4 or 5 weekends. That will take me up to the middle of November when I'm also taking a week off to get a skip and move stuff into self storage. I can then get the stuff that will be going into storage at the movers sorted out ready to leave the house at the end of November. That my friends is the plan, whether it works or not is up to me getting my arse in gear and doing all the things I've said I'm going to do.
As an aside, one of the houses I've been looking at in Amble is up for rent as well as sale, so I may think about renting it with a view to buying. Everything depends on how much we realise on the house so I think that is a wait-and-see job.
A second cup of coffee then out to start again in the garage. I hope to get the majority of stuff moved out of there today, wish me luck!
That's the first load in the van, waiting for bro' to turn up to put stuff in his Landrover then along to the petrol station to put some petrol in the van and some air in the tyres then tip here we come. There's a fair bit of stuff to go into self-storage but nowhere near what there was in there originally, ayt least now you can walk into the garage and move around without falling over stuff or have junk cascade down on you as you pass.
Making progress but still a lot to do and its a bit daunting yet. At least things are getting done though, my previous paralysis has shifted and motivation has kicked in. About time, some might say.
As another aside, its my birthday on Monday, I wonder if Mrs H sends a card. Still, stop second guessing and over thinking, there are myriad reasons why she might forget or anything she sends arrive late through the transatlantic post. Best to forget that sort of thinking and get on with making the best of what is going on now.
Three trips to the tip have left what needs to be self stored in one half of the garage and the other half clear(ish). There is a wardrobe left with personal stuff to go through tomorrow. Once that's done the remainder goes in the skip mid-November.
I will begin indoors from Monday. Moving forward.

5.30 am Friday

Its half five in the morning and I've found a way to get up early, leave the bedside light on. I fell asleep last night with the light still on, had a really good sleep and woke up refreshed at 4.45 am. I am now up and about, having fed the kitties and had some breakfast. Normally I would have dragged myself out of bed half an hour after I needed to and struggled to get a cup of coffee never mind a couple of slices of toast. I like this new idea, I think I might leave the light on in future if it helps me to sleep well and wake up at a reasonable time to avoid feeling rushed in the morning. I would never have had time to write anything at my usual getting up time. Yes, I like this, I think I'll try it more often.
Time to go and get ready for work now, so TTFN.

Ambling into a new life.

I really hope that I can find somewhere to move to in Amble.
I need to be in a more lively environment with shops, pubs and takeaways within walking distance instead of  everything being a car ride away.
I need to be able to stroll down to the river or the harbour and take a gentle constitutional instead of being buffeted by lorries and tractors as I walk along assailed by the stench of the slurry being spread on the fields. I need to be close to my only remaining family, to be a five minute walk away instead of a 30 minute drive.
I need to be able to get to work down a dual carriageway instead of trolling through town hitting every pinch-point there is, stopping and starting all the time.
That's why I really hope I can find somewhere to move to in Amble.

Thursday

Today is Thursday, one more day at work then a weekend of de-cluttering, I must do it this week because  didn't last week and times a passin'.
Yesterday was along day, I went to Leeds for a meeting and wasn't home until 8pm. On the up side thanks to a colleague I discovered  a very decent pub called the Brewery Tap just around from the station, very nice it is too. On the downside I arrived home to find one of the kitties looking very forlorn by the back door having been allowed to get out by the estate agent viewing guide person. I told them explicitly that there were two cats and to make sure that there were two cats in the house at the start and end of each viewing, the numpty who did yesterday's viewing ignored that instruction. I was not happy, poor Thomas kitty thought he had been chucked out and was looking very sad, poor little guy. Why is that no-one can follow a simple instruction these days? Pillock!
Still, can't complain too much at least they are doing the viewings which saves me having to do it, they charge enough though. Humph.
This is turning into a whinge-fest so I go now and try to think of more positive things to talk about another time.

Strangely sanguine

I'm feeling strangely sanguine today. I've been worrying myself sick over the last few weeks about selling the house, de-cluttering, finding a new place and a million other things but today I've reached a sort of plateau where I've decided to sit down a take a look around.
What am I worrying about?
1. Selling the house; the agent is looking after that, it goes to auction in 3 weeks and I can't do anything about  whether it goes for a good price or not. So hang loose for now on that one.
2. De-cluttering; it in the process of happening, so go with the flow and get on with it.
3. Finding a new place; I can't do much on that score until after I know how much the house sells for so that's a wait and see. I know where I want to go and have a couple of potential targets so not much to worry about really.
4. The million other things don't actually exist; I can find a self storage place for the stuff we need access to, I can stay with my brother for a bit until I can find and move into a new place, the furniture and bigger items can go to the moving and storage company who will be doing the move until its time to go into the new place.
So stop worrying is what I say, let the things you can't control work themselves out until you are in a position to be able to influence them and do the stuff you can do something about.
Relax, have a coffee and don't get so wound up. Oh, and stop talking to yourself.

My name is Ian...

..and I'm a Moleskine® addict. My good friend Mr N gave me the idea because he uses one on a regular basis so I went out and bought one.
They are brilliant for people who have a bad memory or if you are a writer to note down ideas as you have them, especially if like me you suffer from the former and aspire to the latter.
They come in many types and sizes, with either a hard or soft back. I use an A5 which fits nicely into the side pocket of the jacket I normally wear. I'm currently using a soft back with plain cream pages and have just bought a hard back to compare the two and decide which type to use in future.
I've also bought a small pocket 2013 diary in soft back because the diary I have been using this year is too long and narrow. The Moleskine® diary is about the size of my Android phone and will fit much better into my coat's inside pocket than the current one.
You can tell I haven't much to say today. Not to mention what an exciting cove and how easily pleased I am.

http://www.moleskine.com/web/gb/home

PS: I've no links with Moleskine® I just think their notebooks are brilliant and that the world needs to know, or at least the tiny bit of the world that reads this blog :-)

After the ball was over.

The football that is. Yet another defeat, I don't know why I bother, they must be the most inconsistent bunch ever assembled. They flatter to deceive on a regular basis. Grrr.
Still, the potato curry was nice and I enjoyed my beer so hey ho, its only a game.

Procrastination.

My pal JR has been round to take away more of the concrete slabs I never got round to using to build a nice patio. Story of my life, the things I never got round to doing which could have enhanced it. Procrastination is the thief of time as a former friend used to say and boy, do I know how to procrastinate. If I'd spent as much time and effort into doing the things I procrastinated about I could have been in charge of a small country by now, or a millionaire or both. Still that was then, this is now, from tomorrow, no more procrastination. My new rule, never put off until tomorrow something you need not do at all. Actually its not that new a rule, its been around for a while, I've just always been going to live by it tomorrow.
I'm really looking forward to the football this afternoon, I hope Newcastle play as well as they are capable of and show the rest of the league that they are real contenders for a European place again and that last season wasn't a flash in the pan.
The potato curry is on to cook really slowly until later, to be had with rice. It smells good so far, if it tastes as good we'll be fine. I'm trying not to have a beer yet, I want to save myself, and the beer, for the match so I must find something to do to keep me away from the fridge. I know, I'll procrastinate. I'll tell myself that I'll go to the fridge later, that way the beer will be safe and I will have succeeded in staying off it until the match starts. So you see, procrastination has its uses.

Its Sunday

Sunday, the day of rest. That is my intention today, read the papers, do a bit of writing until the Newcastle vs Manchester Utd match on tv this afternoon. There's beer in the fridge and I intend to drink it.
I've been thinking about a potato curry later as well, there is a load of spuds sitting there and I like a curry, I was going to say I like a good curry until I realised that it was me who'd be making it so it will have to be, I like a curry. So, curry it is then, whether before or after the match is another question, I'll probably start it so that its cooking during the game and will be ready at the end, organised or what?
Anyway, as I say, a day of rest I hope without ignorant wazzocks peering through the windows today please. I would like to get a good run at The Story as well. So far as you saw yesterday Bob hasn't really been up to much well apart from killing a man in a bar fight but still I'll have to get him being a bit more interesting and try to introduce a bit of life into the story. Lets hope Cleveland is an exciting place for him to be.
I also started on another tale yesterday. Its the back story of an abandoned boat my brother took a photo of on some mudflats on the North Norfolk coast; early days yet but it makes a change from Bob's adventures and means that if I get stuck with him I can take a break and go to the East coast fishing villages of the UK for a change of scene.
Autumn or Fall if you prefer, is certainly here now. Its very chilly but at least the sun is shining and there's not a cloud in the sky. I don't know where this was in the Summer but still with the rain we've had over the past few months it makes a pleasant change to see the sun. A bit of sunshine raises the mood you know.
I am feeling a little guilty about not de-cluttering this weekend but I needed the break. As I've said, there's a few weeks yet and if I start again next weekend it'll be fine.
Right, off to read the papers now, maybe more later.

Change of plan

Today was going to be an assault on the North face of the 'office' but I really can't get motivated to do it so instead I'm going to have a shot at writing a bit more of The Story.
So far in Story 1 Part 1 our hero Bob has lost his remaining family in a mining disaster back home in Northumberland and has moved to America, although I may change that to a fishing accident off the Northumberland coast. He arrived in New York, found work in a lumber yard and a bar where he killed a man in self-defence. He decided that he'd had enough of New York and was last seen boarding a train for Cleveland, OH. Story 1 Part 2 will be his time in Cleveland.
Some research is needed now to see what post-US Civil War Cleveland was like in 1865 so I'm going to start with that today and hope that Bob won't have to sit on the train for too long before he can set off. I think he might meet someone pleasant on the train who may or may not play a big part in his future adventures but as The Story has a life of its own who knows?
I know I should be de-cluttering but my brother will be over next weekend to help finish off the garage and that might give me more motivation to sort out the 'office'. I have 6 or 7 weekends plus I intend to take a week off in November until I need to move. I'll get the skip in for the week I'm off so I should be sailing fair when the time comes to move out into wherever I'm moving to until I find a place in Amble.
Tomorrow of course is another football day so it is unlikely that I'll get anything done this weekend. The incentive of having someone to help is the great thing. I need to work collaboratively most of the time or else I get sidetrac...look! A squirrel! See what I mean. So when the brother is here I get much more done than when I'm on my own. Alone I tend to do loner things like write or read or mope about. Now there's a time and place for such lonesome activities but not when you are supposed to be de-cluttering ready for a move. Still, next week I'll start in earnest and get a good crack at the whole thing, promise!
I might stay in tonight and get weaving with The Story; I think a night at The Story will see Bob nicely settled in Cleveland so that I can relate his adventures there before starting Story 2 Part 1 with his next move as he works his way West.
I was thinking of posting an extract of The Story on here but I'm not sure the best way to do that so I won't until I can find out how.
TTFN.

The weekend looms

The weekend looms ahead like an iceberg in the mist. Well, not really, it's just that there's lots to do, with people coming to view the house in Saturday afternoon and de-cluttering all day.
The office room upstairs has so much paperwork in it the whole day will have to be set aside to clear it all into black bags ready to be burned or recycled.
Non-paperwork stuff will go into the bin or the back of the van ready to go down to the tip. Sunday morning will be a trip to a clothes bin before the football on Sunday afternoon.
After that the weekend will be gone and another week will hove into view.
Sorry it's all a bit boring at the moment, lets hope that the interest levels will rise soon.

Erm...

You know when I said I wasn't going to have beer tonight, well I weakened. You can't watch football without beer.

Not at all interesting

Today I will mainly be not at all interesting.

• I have have ordered my 2013 diary and a fresh notebook from Moleskine, well actually from Amazon but they are Moleskine products. 
• I plan to have a bacon sandwich later or maybe something more substantial if I can be bothered to cook.
• I did not win the lottery.
•  A mysterious benefactor has not left a large suitcase of cash on my doorstep, or if they did someone has come across it while I was out and relieved me of it.
• Thomas kitty still insists on try to learn to tap dance on my keyboard.
• Abbey kitty is still going for the world snoozing record.
• I have changed the wallpaper on my mobile phone to a tin of scones (because I love scones).
• I hope to watch some football tonight.
• I will forego beer this evening in an effort to save money and be good about trying to reduce my drink intake.
• I didn't take the house paperwork to solicitor again today.

I think my aim has been achieved. Today I have mainly been not at all interesting.

North of the Border again

Just back from a long but productive day in Edinburgh. I do like going to Edinburgh, I'd much rather go up there than to Leeds, Birmingham or Manchester. The service from Newcastle is really good and it only takes an hour and a bit to get there. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance for a beer this time because I had to take the car to the station. Still it probably did me good not to have a drink.
Made some good progress on my work writing, I just hope I can get a run at The Story over the next couple of days as I seem to have stalled a bit since Bob became a singer. I have to decide how to move him forward towards Ohio and Arizona. I'll have a think and let you know.

The next big thing

The lovely Bea Davenport asked me to answer these questions. I haven't tagged anyone as I'm new to this writing lark and don't know many writers well enough to ask.

Ten Interview Questions for The Next Big Thing

What is the working title of your book?  It's a series of short stories provisionally titled West goes West.
Where did the idea come from for the book? My liking for Western stories and the escapist thoughts that I've been having over the last few months.
What genre does your book fall under? Westerns.
Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition? It's too early to say, the characters aren't fully developed yet.
What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? We follow the life of a young lad from when he leaves a Northumberland pit village for the USA to start a new life after losing his only remaining family in a mining accident, up to his death in Arizona.
Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? I'm not sure, I'll probably go for self-publishing but we'll have to wait and see if it ever gets finished.
How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? I've only just started, first draft not yet completed.
What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? I don't know, there are so many great writers of Western stories and frankly I'm not worthy of fastening their saddle girths.
Who or What inspired you to write this book? Mid-life crisis and thoughts of escape from my troubles.
What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? I hope it will have novelty value, but that depends upon how the story unfolds.

Here's a link: http://www.blog.beadavenport.com/#home

Lorena

I love this song and I've found some cracking versions on You Tube, this is just one of them.
As I posted on Facebook my old pal Mr N would do a smart job of this on banjo and vocals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-y6cCY2yWI&feature=related
It brings a tear to this old cynic's eye.

P.S. I'm not really a cynic, I'm a soppy old fool.

So what's happening today Ian?

Well since you asked nicely I'll tell you.

I was going to take some paperwork for the sale of the house to the solicitor today until I realised that I had only filled out half the required information and didn't have what I needed to hand so I'll have find it and go another day. If I had brains I'd be dangerous. So having left the office early to do that I will now have to make up the time and still have to go to the solicitor. Numpty.

That was this morning, now I'm just sitting annoying whoever reads this with some idle ramblings whilst fuming slightly at another derisory pre-auction offer on the house. I'm not sure what people think the reserve price means but it certainly doesn't mean we'll accept an offer below it before the auction. I'll be glad when the whole process is over and we can get back to what passes for normal in my little world. Your life is not your own at a time like this, there is always someone wanting something, so roll on completion day.

I only hope that we can raise the required amount to be free of the mortgage which is always a ball and chain.

Anyway, I hope that the tenor of these posts might become a little more upbeat once we are all sorted and can move forward. My trouble is that as a pessimistic, over-analytical worrier I will live in fear of disaster until the house is sold, the money transferred and a new place bought and occupied. Even then I'm sure I'll find a whole new range of things to worry about unless Paul McGee's book, 'How not to worry' works.

Talking of books, I'm really looking forward to starting on Elmore Leonard's Western Stories but I must be patient. Finish Mr McGee first then attack Umberto Eco with Elmore as a reward for finishing 'Baudolino'; I just can't get into it, which is odd since I really enjoyed 'Name of the Rose' and 'Foucault's Pendulum'.

There is also the little matter of The Story to be addressed, I've stalled a bit with it so I need to set some time aside for a charge at that as well.
I must also not forget that there's de-cluttering to be continued as time's a passin'. Saturday must be paper sorting and burning day with the assault on the North face of the spare bedroom taking place on Sunday.
It's all go but there is still a gap in my life which I doubt will be filled again any time soon. I really have to get past that and live my own life for now. I can't influence what is going on over the pond so I need to let it lie and accept that what has to be will be as my dear Mum used to say, may she rest in peace.
That's enough from me for the time being, TTFN.

Humbled?

I wonder why people say they are 'humbled' by certain events. Does that not imply that they were not humble before? It seems a little egotistical to me but maybe I'm wrong.
Perhaps honoured would be a better way to put it, rather than say that 'I was humbled to meet the hero of the recent flooding', why not 'I was honoured to meet the hero of the recent flooding'. Doesn't the latter statement imply that you were unworthy to meet the person and that it was a moment which raised you up rather than imply that you were brought down from some elevated position.
Still that's enough from me on the subject, I just wish people were a little less high falutin' and little more 'humble'.

A distinct gap.

There is a distinct gap in my life that needs filling. I am trying to plug it with this blog, The Story and reading a lot of books. These activities all help but that gap is still there.
I really don't know how to fill it. Still, as Fred Boycott says dig in.

Not much to say today...

...but I'm going to say something anyway. I've been back in the office for the first time in a week, not too many e-mails thankfully, the usual pile of tripe didn't seem to materialise so that was good. It was pleasant to get out of the house, I had allowed myself to slip into a rut and was in danger of becoming a bit of a recluse.
I've found that all my work trips have been rearranged which is good as they are now more house-move friendly. So that is good. I think a week off in mid-November will be the order of the day to sort out the remaining clutter and be ready to move.
Not much else to report so I'll stop and try to be a bit more interesting another time.

Chill Baby.

This dull Sunday afternoon I will be mostly trying to relax, write a bit of The Story, do a spot of reading and guide my lions (that's my version of gird my loins for the uninitiated) for the next few busy weeks. At the end of that period I hope to be de-cluttered, un-indebted and re-homed. We can only hope and pray that this happens.
Back to today though, my good friend Mr McL has volunteered to do some research on my behalf for The Story, probably for the second in the series, I will be glad of the help so I will be ploughing on with Story 1 until I reach about 5K words which I have read is the optimum length for a short story.
So far our Hero has just been taken on as a singer in the bar where he works as a potman so he now has three jobs. This will help him save up for his journey into story 2 in which I aim to take him into Ohio though this thing has a life of it's own and is evolving rather than being planned so Ohio fans don't hold your breath.
Anyhoo I'm off to stir my curry. More later perhaps.
Just a thought I had whilst stirring my curry (not a euphemism); in case anyone was wondering and I'm sure you weren't but I'm going to tell you anyway; the reason I think it best to move to Amble is so that I'm not visiting my old haunts and having to explain over and over again to people who's lives revolve around gossip the reasons why we are selling up which frankly are none of anyone's business but mine and Mrs H's. Amble will be a fresh start, with the opportunity to visit new pubs, use local shops for bread (not to mention scones, which in case you had forgotten, I love), fruit and meat instead of relying on the big supermarkets and to live in a pleasant town (England's Friendliest Port) near to good transport links and on the beautiful Northumbrian coast which in my opinion is second to none. Also, another big plus is I'll be nearer to my Brother and sister-in-law so we can help one another in our dotage.
So I'll be off now to read the paper, write some more of The Story, read a good book and so on to make my dream of a relaxing day reality.
All together now, chill baby! TTFN.

The de-clutter goes on.

Four trips to the tip and the garage is now looking a lot less cluttered. There is a stack of boxes with stuff to store or sell, an area of stuff that is going straight into the skip once I hire it and another area of bigger stuff which is to be dealt with next week.
You would not believe how cathartic it has been today to get rid of so much junk, most of which has been in that garage for nigh on ten years and never been looked at. The mice have had a field day with a lot of it, so out it went!
Next week, the box room/office is going to be blitzed and all the papers that have been kept for no apparent reason for Lord knows how long will be burned. In the meantime the bags of clothes lying on the spare bed will be going to the charity bins outside Tesco or Asda.
It's at times like this that family comes into their own, thank God for brothers.
Onwards! My friends!