Rollers become breakers
Become surf on the beach
Shifting the sand
Down the coast.
Sand becomes dunes
Where the marram
Grass grows making
Homes for wild things
To live.
Thursday 30 July 2015
Waves
Wednesday 29 July 2015
Another day at the beach.
The sea is steel grey
Rain on the horizon
Matching my mood
Is the sun on its way?
To bring light to the beach
And to my head
The hope is around
But not the sun
Yet.
Monday 27 July 2015
The City
The City
In the City that never sleeps
Not that one
This one
London
Where the streets are paved with gold
Yet unfortunate people
Still lie on pavements
Trying to escape their awful lives
By sleeping
In the City that never sleeps
Sunday 19 July 2015
Dreams
Just lately I've been having some bad, not bad, sad dreams.
They revolve around times in my life when things that I didn't want to end have done just that.
These dreams conflate, if that's the right word, a number of people who I've had relationships with into one composite person who has come back into my life only to leave again thereby crushing my hopes of a reconciliation.
The whole dream thing has been triggered by my newly acquired residential uncertainty and a subconscious wish for security, stability and continuity in my dotage.
I wake feeling sad and discouraged since these dreams are so vivid and realistic even though I know they aren't.
The only way to get rid of them in my opinion will be to find an affordable place to buy so I can settle and not have the whim of a landlord hanging over the security of my accommodation.
With that in mind I hope to be able to get a place sooner rather than later. If not I don't know what I'll do.
On that note I'll be off to continue with my worrying and wish you peace and love.
ttfn x
Saturday 18 July 2015
Saturday morning dilemma
I'm sitting in my usual Saturday spot having collected my rail tickets for next week thinking about how to resolve my latest dilemma.
My landlady has given me 2 months notice to quit my home so I need to raise the money to buy a new place or find another rental. If I can't I will be homeless as of 13 September.
I wish that life could be more simple but it isn't so I have to deal with it and get looking. Ideally I'd like to buy the house but I have to make provision for an alternative to that option.
So, house hunting I go with the hope that somewhere affordable in the vicinity comes up either to buy or rent.
If this had happened a year ago I would have been floored, however with my new attitude to life all this has served to do is make me determined to find a solution and move forward.
So with that in mind wish me luck and if anyone has a spare £90k they can let me have don't be shy.
And on that note I'll say peace and love and get back to solving my Saturday morning dilemma.
ttfn. x
Sunday 12 July 2015
Summer Sky
Summer Sky
Clouds moving across a Summer Sky
Glowing red in the setting sun
The promise of another day
Of warmth and light
The silence hangs in the air
As if waiting for the day to come
Bringing what?
Who knows or even cares?
Enjoy the moment when you see
Clouds moving across a Summer Sky.
Sunday evening reflections
There have been many times over the last 5 years when I have just wanted to run away and live in a cave, to hide from life and hope my troubles would just disappear.
The thing is though, they don't, they sit outside the cave and wait until you stick your head out so that they can grab you and drag you down into the black world you were hiding from
Luckily I couldn't find a suitable cave to inhabit so I had to confront my issues and attempt to defeat them.
As I sit here on a lovely Summer evening I look around me and realise that I have made some progress.
I have dealt with the main issues and now live in a pleasant enough place and have made new friends, some of whom I will likely not hold on to but others who have been a help and a comfort. All-in-all I'm more comfortable in my skin that I have been for a while.
Recently a couple of events happened which not so very long ago would have floored me and sent me back downhill. This time, although they made me think; they have not knocked me over.
I feel a little low because of these events but I know that I can bounce back. I have re-evaluated my approach to my life and realise that I don't have to be a victim all the time. Looking at my attitude has shown me that I sometimes, no not sometimes, often revelled in having a bad time as if somehow I deserved my travails because I was a bad person.
Now I'm not perfect and have done some things in my life I'm not proud of and hurt people I should have cared for and for that I'm sorry.
The thing is I think I have learned from the bad times and will no longer wallow in self-pity, rather I will use any setbacks as a force for improvement in my attitude and approach to life.
I'm sure the anxiety and depression I've dealt with throughout my life will never entirely go away; all I know is that I now know how to deal with my own negativity and will try to raise my mood by becoming a better and more caring person.
The way I'm going on anyone would think that I found religion. No, what I have found is a determination to treat others as I would wish to be treated. that is in a kind and empathetic way. Kindness towards others is a force for good and a lifestyle, for want of a better word, which will enhance my ability to overcome negativity, find the positives in any negativity that comes my way and use it for the benefit of not only myself but others whom I encounter.
On that note I think it's time for me to stop rabbiting on. So Peace and Love, ttfn x
https://humanism.org.uk/
The thing is though, they don't, they sit outside the cave and wait until you stick your head out so that they can grab you and drag you down into the black world you were hiding from
Luckily I couldn't find a suitable cave to inhabit so I had to confront my issues and attempt to defeat them.
As I sit here on a lovely Summer evening I look around me and realise that I have made some progress.
I have dealt with the main issues and now live in a pleasant enough place and have made new friends, some of whom I will likely not hold on to but others who have been a help and a comfort. All-in-all I'm more comfortable in my skin that I have been for a while.
Recently a couple of events happened which not so very long ago would have floored me and sent me back downhill. This time, although they made me think; they have not knocked me over.
I feel a little low because of these events but I know that I can bounce back. I have re-evaluated my approach to my life and realise that I don't have to be a victim all the time. Looking at my attitude has shown me that I sometimes, no not sometimes, often revelled in having a bad time as if somehow I deserved my travails because I was a bad person.
Now I'm not perfect and have done some things in my life I'm not proud of and hurt people I should have cared for and for that I'm sorry.
The thing is I think I have learned from the bad times and will no longer wallow in self-pity, rather I will use any setbacks as a force for improvement in my attitude and approach to life.
I'm sure the anxiety and depression I've dealt with throughout my life will never entirely go away; all I know is that I now know how to deal with my own negativity and will try to raise my mood by becoming a better and more caring person.
The way I'm going on anyone would think that I found religion. No, what I have found is a determination to treat others as I would wish to be treated. that is in a kind and empathetic way. Kindness towards others is a force for good and a lifestyle, for want of a better word, which will enhance my ability to overcome negativity, find the positives in any negativity that comes my way and use it for the benefit of not only myself but others whom I encounter.
On that note I think it's time for me to stop rabbiting on. So Peace and Love, ttfn x
https://humanism.org.uk/
Friday 10 July 2015
My 12-point plan
So. After a poor start to July I realised that I was becoming complacent and have allowed my life to drift. Therefore I've made a few decisions.
The new 12-point plan is as follows, in no particular order:
1. Get into the garden more and keep on top of it.
2. Be more detached as a trainer and stop trying to be the trainee's friend, I'm not, I'm there to be an instructor not a pal.
3. Revert to my previous plan of spending time in America rather than Australia once I retire.
4. Spend less time in the club (tough one)
5. Read more.
6. Be more assiduous in writing my journal, poetry, short story and blog.
7. Remember that I'm 56 not 26 and behave accordingly.
8. Accept that I'm unlikely to find the love of my life in Broomhill and enjoy being single.
9. Lose weight. I should be 13 stone, not 17. (See 4 above)
10. Continue to let my hair, goatee and moustache grow for that bohemian look. (See 12 below)
11. Get a semi-colon tattoo.
12. Be less self-deprecating whilst continuing to live a kind life.
I'm not sure if I will be able to achieve any or all of the above but the mere act of writing it down has concentrated my mind on continuing to look forward not back.
Peace and love x ttfn
The new 12-point plan is as follows, in no particular order:
1. Get into the garden more and keep on top of it.
2. Be more detached as a trainer and stop trying to be the trainee's friend, I'm not, I'm there to be an instructor not a pal.
3. Revert to my previous plan of spending time in America rather than Australia once I retire.
4. Spend less time in the club (tough one)
5. Read more.
6. Be more assiduous in writing my journal, poetry, short story and blog.
7. Remember that I'm 56 not 26 and behave accordingly.
8. Accept that I'm unlikely to find the love of my life in Broomhill and enjoy being single.
9. Lose weight. I should be 13 stone, not 17. (See 4 above)
10. Continue to let my hair, goatee and moustache grow for that bohemian look. (See 12 below)
11. Get a semi-colon tattoo.
12. Be less self-deprecating whilst continuing to live a kind life.
I'm not sure if I will be able to achieve any or all of the above but the mere act of writing it down has concentrated my mind on continuing to look forward not back.
Peace and love x ttfn
Sunday 5 July 2015
Real friends
It's been said many times by many people that it's good to know that one has real friends who care about you when things in life don't quite go to plan.
These people are the ones who you don't necessarily see for days, weeks , months or even years but can be relied upon to rally round when a bump in the road knocks you off kilter for a while.
It's comforting to realise that there are some people who think well of you and are prepared to offer kind words when they are needed.
Many times over the last few years these friends have helped me through troughs in my life and made it bearable by showing me that they care.
I have nothing but praise for these people and as my good friend Pete said just this morning; Forward!
Letting the major and more recent minor disappointments of the past be and live looking at the positives in life is my motto and it has worked to keep me from falling back into the dark place I formerly inhabited.
So with good friends to support me and a positive attitude I am indeed still going forward!
Peace and love. x ttfn
These people are the ones who you don't necessarily see for days, weeks , months or even years but can be relied upon to rally round when a bump in the road knocks you off kilter for a while.
It's comforting to realise that there are some people who think well of you and are prepared to offer kind words when they are needed.
Many times over the last few years these friends have helped me through troughs in my life and made it bearable by showing me that they care.
I have nothing but praise for these people and as my good friend Pete said just this morning; Forward!
Letting the major and more recent minor disappointments of the past be and live looking at the positives in life is my motto and it has worked to keep me from falling back into the dark place I formerly inhabited.
So with good friends to support me and a positive attitude I am indeed still going forward!
Peace and love. x ttfn
The young man from Madrid
Young man from Madrid
There was a young man from Madrid
Who instead of a hat wore a lid
Each time it got hot
He boiled like a pot
The tin lidded young man from Madrid
Forward!
Forward!
It's a comfort to know that one has good friends
Who you may not have seen for long stretches of time
They rally to support you when life has its downs
Letting you realise that all will be fine
Those people accept you just as you are and
The message you get from those friends far and near
Is seize life by the hand and go forwards not back
The future is waiting so don't dwell in the past
Live each day as it comes be it awful or fun
What went before is all said and done.
Goodbye
Goodbye
When you have a friend
Who lets you down
It's a terrible thing
When you have someone
Who says they're your pal
And they let you down
It's a terrible thing
When someone you opened you home to
Lets you down
It's a terrible thing
Let it go though and let them go too
It's easy to do
It's not a big deal
Just move on
It's not such a terrible thing
You're better than them
They've let themselves down
Not you.
Goodbye.
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