Optimistic.

I am optimistic about moving forward from where I am now. I was in a very dark place for a long time and I now know that it was caused by me hanging on to a life I wasn't happy with but couldn't see any other way of living. This stems from long before I was married, I was trying to live a life I imagined I should be living rather than the one I wanted to live. Getting married again was a chance to break out of that cycle which I didn't take. I have another chance now to move on with the house sold and new opportunities beckoning. I hope that madame will be part of it as well, but I can't influence that.
In future I need to look at life in a freer way, don't hold on to that which makes me sad and unhappy, embrace change and make my life a brighter existence by being sensible about what I can and can't do.
As I said, I hope that madame will remain part of my life but in a positive way based on a new attitude towards one another.
I really need to take a hard look at my attitude towards things, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. I think that is what we have done with our current situation.
A new place to live will make a huge difference as well, there will be lots of new things to see and do and new people to meet. I am tired of living in the past, it is time to look to the future one day at a time.
With a new approach I hope that madame will see what she saw in me in the first place and be able to get past the more recent past. If not, well I hope we can remain in contact and on good terms so we can move forward and I will have to deal with it.