Tuesday afternoon, 3pm and I'm sitting on the sofa wondering what to do next. I have no motivation to read more of 'The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry' which to be frank I'm not enjoying but refuse to give up on, equally I have just as little to write either so here I am bashing keys on my laptop and hoping for some inspiration or maybe a poem to pop into my head. The thing is, in my opinion the more you think about being inspired the less likely it is to happen. Your mind, or at least mine needs to be on some unrelated task, distracted if you like so inspiration can spring unbidden into one's head.
That's all I wanted to say, so I'll wish you Peace and Love. ttfn x
Tuesday 29 December 2015
Saturday 19 December 2015
Christmas and New Year
This has been a busy and tiring year which seems to have whizzed by. I reckon that there were a couple of months that passed me by, since the last time I looked it was October and now we are less than a week away from Christmas Day.
I have travelled a great deal this year and delivered training events in all parts. As a consequence, I'm knackered and all I want to do these holidays is hide myself away, turn off my work computer and 'phone and rest. I need to have long lie-ins and just chill out with some writing and catching up on the backlog of books that are sitting on the shelf waiting to be read.
I hope no-one is offended if I don't join in the festivities this year and hide away in the flat until the New Year. I'm not being grumpy or Scrooge-like and I'm not down or depressed, although this time of year does usually find me feeling low, I'm just tired and need some quiet time to myself to recharge the old batteries and think about my early retirement at the end of April.
I really hope all goes smoothly on the retirement front and that everything is in place for the 29th of April when my last working day comes around. Once that day has come and gone I will use my time to sort my poetry into some kind of order and see if I can get it published. After that I'll review The Tale and hope to get the first instalment into print. Then I can press on with the next part of The Tale and also write some new poems.
Anyway, back to the present; I have four more days at work before I break up for the holidays which I hope to use to catch up on some admin and perhaps make a day trip to Birmingham. After that I'll be in my cave sleeping, reading and writing.
So I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has a great time and that the New Year is good to you all. To those who don't celebrate for whatever reason I wish you Peace and Love. ttfn x
I have travelled a great deal this year and delivered training events in all parts. As a consequence, I'm knackered and all I want to do these holidays is hide myself away, turn off my work computer and 'phone and rest. I need to have long lie-ins and just chill out with some writing and catching up on the backlog of books that are sitting on the shelf waiting to be read.
I hope no-one is offended if I don't join in the festivities this year and hide away in the flat until the New Year. I'm not being grumpy or Scrooge-like and I'm not down or depressed, although this time of year does usually find me feeling low, I'm just tired and need some quiet time to myself to recharge the old batteries and think about my early retirement at the end of April.
I really hope all goes smoothly on the retirement front and that everything is in place for the 29th of April when my last working day comes around. Once that day has come and gone I will use my time to sort my poetry into some kind of order and see if I can get it published. After that I'll review The Tale and hope to get the first instalment into print. Then I can press on with the next part of The Tale and also write some new poems.
Anyway, back to the present; I have four more days at work before I break up for the holidays which I hope to use to catch up on some admin and perhaps make a day trip to Birmingham. After that I'll be in my cave sleeping, reading and writing.
So I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has a great time and that the New Year is good to you all. To those who don't celebrate for whatever reason I wish you Peace and Love. ttfn x
Thursday 10 December 2015
The train of lights
The train of lights
She cuts through
The darkness
Like a string
Of Christmas lights
Decorating the night
On her way
To the City.
Delivering people
To fun, or work,
Happiness or sadness
Each light a window
Onto a black aspect.
The physical reflections
Of those inside
Matching the mental reflections
Inside those on board
The train of lights
Friday 4 December 2015
Lonely or alone? Re-revisited
In the Spring and Early Summer of 2014 I wrote a couple of posts on the subject of the difference between being lonely or alone.
Tonight on a cold and windy Winter Friday evening I thought I would say a few more words on the subject. Looking back at what I wrote it seems that I wasn't in a very good place mentally. I had fallen into, or perhaps back into would be more accurate expression, the depression which has, whether I realised it or not, (black) dogged me for much of my life .
Sitting here though I have come to the conclusion that I'm not lonely, I have Thomas Kitty for a start and there are many people I know think of me and are concerned about my welfare. It doesn't matter that I rarely speak to or see them, it's the fact that I know they are there that makes me realise that I'm not lonely. I say not because it's true, I am comfortable in my solitude and in fact actively seek it out at times. I have interests which occupy my mind such as boring the readers of this blog, and oddly there are some; I can also lose myself in a book which to me is one of the great ways of countering loneliness. A good book can carry me away to places I'm unlikely to ever visit and catch me up in the lives of people who I will never meet, mainly because most of them are fictional but never mind, in a good book they become real and part of my life.
There are people who are lonely and it is an awful state to be in especially as one gets older and I can empathise because in the past I have allowed myself to consider myself lonely, what I'm talking about are my own feelings now which are the only ones I can feel obviously.
Anyway, before I tie myself up in existential knots here I'll stop rambling and get to the point. I consider myself to be extraordinarily lucky to be able to cope with being alone and not to feel lonely. I have travelled to the ends of the Earth; well, Australia and the USA, alone and have never felt lonely. Interacting with new people or just watching the world go by keeps loneliness at bay. I'm as happy sitting in a cafe drinking coffee (really a bar drinking beer but I thought it sounded more cosmopolitan to be in a cafe) people-watching as I am amongst a crowd. I sometimes think that I must be the most gregarious loner I know.
So there you have it, all the times I've bubbled on about being lonely, well those days are gone. I'm comfortable in my skin and happy to be able to make my own entertainment, be it in the club with friends, alone with a book or interacting with folks on social media.
I hope I've explained what I'm trying to get across, which is that I've finally worked out that I'm never lonely, just sometimes I happen to be alone.
Until my next ramblings or if you're really lucky, poem I say Peace and Love. ttfn x
Tonight on a cold and windy Winter Friday evening I thought I would say a few more words on the subject. Looking back at what I wrote it seems that I wasn't in a very good place mentally. I had fallen into, or perhaps back into would be more accurate expression, the depression which has, whether I realised it or not, (black) dogged me for much of my life .
Sitting here though I have come to the conclusion that I'm not lonely, I have Thomas Kitty for a start and there are many people I know think of me and are concerned about my welfare. It doesn't matter that I rarely speak to or see them, it's the fact that I know they are there that makes me realise that I'm not lonely. I say not because it's true, I am comfortable in my solitude and in fact actively seek it out at times. I have interests which occupy my mind such as boring the readers of this blog, and oddly there are some; I can also lose myself in a book which to me is one of the great ways of countering loneliness. A good book can carry me away to places I'm unlikely to ever visit and catch me up in the lives of people who I will never meet, mainly because most of them are fictional but never mind, in a good book they become real and part of my life.
There are people who are lonely and it is an awful state to be in especially as one gets older and I can empathise because in the past I have allowed myself to consider myself lonely, what I'm talking about are my own feelings now which are the only ones I can feel obviously.
Anyway, before I tie myself up in existential knots here I'll stop rambling and get to the point. I consider myself to be extraordinarily lucky to be able to cope with being alone and not to feel lonely. I have travelled to the ends of the Earth; well, Australia and the USA, alone and have never felt lonely. Interacting with new people or just watching the world go by keeps loneliness at bay. I'm as happy sitting in a cafe drinking coffee (really a bar drinking beer but I thought it sounded more cosmopolitan to be in a cafe) people-watching as I am amongst a crowd. I sometimes think that I must be the most gregarious loner I know.
So there you have it, all the times I've bubbled on about being lonely, well those days are gone. I'm comfortable in my skin and happy to be able to make my own entertainment, be it in the club with friends, alone with a book or interacting with folks on social media.
I hope I've explained what I'm trying to get across, which is that I've finally worked out that I'm never lonely, just sometimes I happen to be alone.
Until my next ramblings or if you're really lucky, poem I say Peace and Love. ttfn x
Thursday 3 December 2015
I'm a....
...terrorist sympathiser apparently. If that means being opposed to a badly thought out campaign of bombing the bejeezus out of innocent people then that is what I am. There are better ways of stopping the spread of extremist organisations than this.
Cut off the supply of funds, fuel and materiel for a start. Find a political consensus between those opposing such extreme groups. Put pressure on the countries funding and arming them to stop doing so. Bombing will only produce more refugees and may even drive some people into the ranks of these groups of extremists.
They hide behind religion, in my opinion, they have no religion, they are simply criminals who are only out for themselves with no concern about the cost to anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path.
Violence begets violence. I have nothing more to say on the subject.
Peace and Love x
Cut off the supply of funds, fuel and materiel for a start. Find a political consensus between those opposing such extreme groups. Put pressure on the countries funding and arming them to stop doing so. Bombing will only produce more refugees and may even drive some people into the ranks of these groups of extremists.
They hide behind religion, in my opinion, they have no religion, they are simply criminals who are only out for themselves with no concern about the cost to anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path.
Violence begets violence. I have nothing more to say on the subject.
Peace and Love x
Wednesday 2 December 2015
A big decision
After nearly 39 years working in the Civil Service I told my boss today that I intend to take early retirement as of 30 April next year.
It is a big decision and will mean a drop in income. This will be offset by the fact that I will be free of the demands of travel and the daily grind of keeping up with the increasing demands to do more with less.
I like what I'm currently doing but as things are going there won't be much call for my role in the future. I'm worn out and have started to worry in the last few months that I wouldn't reach my full retirement age of 60 without having had either a breakdown or a heart attack.
So, as an act of self preservation I reached the conclusion that the time was right for a change of direction.
From 1 May 2016 I hope to be able to concentrate on writing more poetry (sorry!), finishing writing West goes West and reading all the books I've wanted to read and not had the time or inclination to read. Perhaps I can get a part-time job as a bookseller, now that would be a great thing for a bookworm like me. Having said that for a while I'd like to just kick back and enjoy the freedom I hope to have to do the things I want to do instead of constantly worrying about the things I have to do.
Travel is also on the agenda, travel to parts of the UK and Ireland I haven't seen and want to visit plus trips to parts of the USA, Canada and The Antipodes which I've alays wanted to visit but never had the time or money to go to.
Mainly though I hope to release the stress that has built up over the years and try to enjoy life whilst I'm still young enough and have sufficient faculties to appreciate the activities I'd like to undertake.
Of all the years I've been in the Civil Service I've probably enjoyed about a third of them. Most of the 1980's and '90's were torture and had I had the courage I should have quit and moved on. Unfortunately I didn't have the cojones to leave and struggled on. I have now reached the point where I need my life back. After two failed marriages and years of making the best of a bad job now is the time to move on and be positive.
A cabin in the woods beckons where I can sit and regain my mojo before it's too late.
Wish me luck!
Until the next time, I wish you Peace and Love. ttfn x
It is a big decision and will mean a drop in income. This will be offset by the fact that I will be free of the demands of travel and the daily grind of keeping up with the increasing demands to do more with less.
I like what I'm currently doing but as things are going there won't be much call for my role in the future. I'm worn out and have started to worry in the last few months that I wouldn't reach my full retirement age of 60 without having had either a breakdown or a heart attack.
So, as an act of self preservation I reached the conclusion that the time was right for a change of direction.
From 1 May 2016 I hope to be able to concentrate on writing more poetry (sorry!), finishing writing West goes West and reading all the books I've wanted to read and not had the time or inclination to read. Perhaps I can get a part-time job as a bookseller, now that would be a great thing for a bookworm like me. Having said that for a while I'd like to just kick back and enjoy the freedom I hope to have to do the things I want to do instead of constantly worrying about the things I have to do.
Travel is also on the agenda, travel to parts of the UK and Ireland I haven't seen and want to visit plus trips to parts of the USA, Canada and The Antipodes which I've alays wanted to visit but never had the time or money to go to.
Mainly though I hope to release the stress that has built up over the years and try to enjoy life whilst I'm still young enough and have sufficient faculties to appreciate the activities I'd like to undertake.
Of all the years I've been in the Civil Service I've probably enjoyed about a third of them. Most of the 1980's and '90's were torture and had I had the courage I should have quit and moved on. Unfortunately I didn't have the cojones to leave and struggled on. I have now reached the point where I need my life back. After two failed marriages and years of making the best of a bad job now is the time to move on and be positive.
A cabin in the woods beckons where I can sit and regain my mojo before it's too late.
Wish me luck!
Until the next time, I wish you Peace and Love. ttfn x
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