I'm writing this in something of a state of shock. Madame has informed me that she is going to marry again. I'm shocked because I had thought that we were apart temporarily, maybe for a while, but temporarily until we could sort out our differences and reconcile. That would appear to be a non-starter and I have now to change focus and make a life without the hope of she and I getting back together.
It is going to be hard starting off again at 54 after 11 years of being with her. I know many people go through these kinds of situations all the time and I had half-reconciled myself to her never coming back, this new development though has really knocked me for six. It's difficult because I don't feel I have anyone to talk to about it all so I have to go out to the club and take comfort from the company available there. I can't really talk to anyone there though because I don't know anyone well enough to burden them with my problems.
I fear a fall back into a depression triggered by this turn of events and still have a storage unit plus a room here full of stuff, much of it hers which I was dealing with as I thought she would come back, but now what? It's all getting a bit much and I fear a relapse.
Maybe I will meet someone who can help me through this but I don't know who this mythical being will be or where I will meet them. Life really does have a way of smacking a chap in the chops. I really thought that when Madame and I married that was it and we would spend the rest of our lives together. What am I to do?
Anyway, I'm going to stop now before this turns into a ramble. ttfn
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