Madame is here

Well Madame is here. We've been through a few movers boxes and sorted out another load of stuff to be disposed of. It is good to see her but things are still not the same between us. I doubt they ever will be again, at least we are still friends though I wish we could get past our previous differences and start afresh with a blank canvas.
Her being here has brought back all the feelings of dreading her departure and that emptiness that results in her going. She says she will be back in October of if not then, in December but I really wish she would just come home to stay so we can move forwards together.
This is all wishful thinking on my part of course. I doubt that she will ever come back for good. I still hope that she will though.
I can feel myself teetering on the brink of falling into another depression, I'm on the verge of tears as I write. I hope that my trip to Glasgow tomorrow and Tuesday to meet up with my pal and to see George Thorogood will help improve my mood. I don't need to be falling back, I have made so much progress in the last 3 months with my mood improving and feeling so much more optimistic that I couldn't handle having to pick myself up and start again.
I am under no illusions that Madame will take a while to come around to my way of thinking, if she ever does, but patience is a virtue and as long as we keep our lines of communication open there is always hope of a reconciliation.
Still, I mustn't wallow in self-pity. I have to be positive and accept that I must enjoy my life as best I can and not rely on Madame coming back to make me happy. I must live as if she isn't and keep the hope that she might on the back burner. I cannot fixate on her coming home.
On that note I will take my leave of you dear reader and will keep you posted (whether you want me too or not) of developments.
I live in hope, TTFN