Triggered.

The empty feeling that entered the pit of my stomach on Monday morning when I discovered that Madame had married again and the faint hopes I had of a reconciliation had drifted further away remains seated where it landed.
I hate this feeling, it is the sign that I have been triggered again and a low mood is upon me, sorry that sounded a bit pretentious. What I'm trying to say is that finding out that Madame is now married to someone other than me has triggered my depression.
I suppose we all have our triggers be it for depression, anger or happiness, I know that I have lived on the edge of falling into a low mood since the original trigger in 2012 when I received the first notification that Madame wanted a divorce. I fought and argued and tried to change her mind but she was adamant that our marriage was over and she was going back to the US. That pushed me into a black hole which I have slowly been climbing out of, I have had good days and bad days in the intervening period but in the main my progress has been upward. Until Monday morning.
The discovery that she had married again came on top of the news that an old friend had died suddenly and unexpectedly so I was upset over that and the thought of his poor wife having to cope with such a sudden loss when this second, albeit minor in comparison to my friend's wife's, bombshell landed with a thud via Facebook. At first I seemed to be coping quite well with the news but as the day dragged on my mood dipped as the realisation hit that probably Madame would never be back and that I would never see her again.
On a slightly different note, is it selfish of me to be upset that no-one who knows her and me and who know she has re-married has asked me how I feel about the whole thing. In fact very few people have said anything to me by way of consolation or commiseration since the whole farrago began. I know who has and I appreciate them for it.
I think perhaps I invested too much of my emotional well-being in the relationship and when it went wrong there was nothing left for me to fall back on. Still, writing all this has helped a bit and as Henry James said, this too shall pass.