Monday 2 September 2013

Here I am...

in yet another hotel room ready to work for a couple of days in Leeds so I thought a short ramble would be a good idea to keep me out of the pub.
This 'diet' and 'exercise' regime I have allegedly put myself on is not doing the job. It has a flaw in that I can't keep out of the bloody pub! It it much too conveniently situated, so I go along every evening because the company is good and it stops me from being lonely.
This has to stop before I burst, so from today, note from today, not tomorrow, I am going to restrict myself to no more than three nights a week in pubs. So for example, this week as I'm away I'll go tomorrow for dinner to a pub, then when I get home on Wednesday night I will not go out again until Saturday. This will halve my beer consumption at a stroke and along with the healthier eating which I have succeeded in undertaking should make the weight start to come down so that the gym and the cycling will become a little easier thereby also assisting in the loss of flab.
 I hope this works because I'm heartily sick of being a blob.
Anyway, on a different note I was watching a programme on TV about people who had lost a loved one in the 9/11 attacks and it made me re-evaluate my whole attitude to what I have lost. My loss is paltry in comparison, and although it seems a huge thing to me I now realise that in the great scheme of things it is not such a big deal and I should get on with my life.
I'm sure at times I will feel down but that is part of what I am, I need to realise that the only person who can bring me out of these dips is me and by trying to be rational about what goes on in my life I can see obstacles for what they are; opportunities to move on in a slightly (or completely) different way and not blockages to rest my head against and wail that I can't get past them and give up.
I've had many experiences in life, both good and bad and I'm still here, so onwards and upwards. With that in mind and after months of havering and wavering I finally found it in me to book my first solo holiday in I don't know how long. I'm going to Las Vegas to do a spot of light gambling, watch a couple of shows and live a little. It's been too long living vicariously through others, my life is my own and I intend to live it, anyone who wishes to join in can do so but I refuse to allow myself to be brought down any longer.

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” 
― Randy PauschThe Last Lecture 

Per Ardua Ad Astra my friends. Peace and Love x

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