It's twelve noon on a cold November Sunday and I'm sitting with the heating on and a blanket round my legs like a little old man. I have the Sunday crossword to complete and a book to read so I'd appear to be quite content in my little world.
There's something missing though, and I don't know what it is. I have an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach (no it's not hunger, I've had brunch); there's a feeling in the back of my mind that there's something or someone not in my life that should be. I don't think it's my ex-wife even though I admitted yesterday that I still love her. No, there's just a space waiting to be filled and by what I don't know. I am feeling strangely lost without this missing element and have no clue how to find whatever it is.
What a load of twaddle you might say, get a grip and get on with your life. In general that's what I do, I try to function on a daily basis and present a 'normal' face to the outside world, just occasionally I sit back and this feeling of there being something missing creeps up on me and I feel the urge to tell anyone who happens to read this blather how I feel.
Well it's now three pm and my dinner is slowly cooking on a low gas. I'm sitting with Thomas kitty cuddled up against me keeping each other warm. Having a blanket and a cat certainly saves on gas for heating.
I've been seriously considering applying for early retirement. I don't like the direction my workplace is going at the moment and although I enjoy what I'm doing I'm finding myself more and more often wishing my life away until I'm 60. I reckon based on my last pension statement that I can live quite reasonably on my reduced pension and save my lump sum for emergencies and travel. I'm meeting my manager soon so I think I'll broach the subject and see where we go.
I really need to change my work/life balance. I was away working far too much this past year, I need to travel for fun and spend more time at home writing and catching up on all the books I have sitting waiting to be read. I need to have time to spread my wings while I'm still young(ish) and well(ish) enough to enjoy life.
Maybe that's what has been the missing thing I was talking about earlier. I need to break free of the shackles of my calendar and expand my mind into the areas I love; travel, reading and writing.
That's it settled then, I will consult the necessary people and see if I can put an early retirement request in train.
I'll let you know how I get on, until then Peace and Love. ttfn x
Might it be worth hanging on to see if any redundancies or enhanced early retirement options arise from the proposed closures of local offices? Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteIt had crossed my mind, but Newcastle is one of the hubs so I doubt there'll be much likelyhood. I'll talk through my options when I see my manager next week.
ReplyDelete