Still thinking

Sundays were always been a day I found difficult to deal with. This was the day when I would sit and dread the coming week, school or work loomed up on the near horizon beckoning me on for another week of unhappiness. Looking back I can recall only one day when I felt truly happy. It was a day during the school Summer holidays in 1976. It was a lovely sunny day and I was walking along the road from our house going nowhere in particular and the thought entered my head that I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I had no responsibilities and my whole life was laid out in front of me like a blank canvas ready for me to decorate as I pleased. Things didn't turn out as I hoped on that day. Within 10 years I was living away from home with a failed marriage behind me and a job I couldn't do well and any emotional support I needed hundreds of miles away. I still look back on the 9 years I spent in Southend with regret, tempered only by the few good friends I made whilst I was there and without whom I reckon my life would have fallen apart completely. Still,  one shouldn't dwell on the past even though I have managed to make the same mistakes on a regular basis which leaves me where I am today. Without the mistakes I've made over the years I wouldn't be sitting where I am today, in a pleasant flat in a beautiful part of the world, newly retired from work and a fresh blank canvas in front of me, the prospect of a new life beckoning. Funny how things turn out isn't it? My main problem was always bottling up my thoughts and over-thinking every little thing. This blog has solved the bottling up element and I've certainly reduced my thinking to the bare minimum, taking each day as it comes, dealing with what can be dealt with and letting fate (for want of a better word) take care of the things I can't control. Now all I need is to meet my new life-partner in a bookshop somewhere and away we go.
Peace and Love, x ttfn