I think loneliness must be one of the hardest emotions to overcome. At times it is something I feel even when I'm in a crowd.
To me it is the absence of love that makes loneliness.
I have been alone and not felt lonely when I have known that the love of a significant other was with me, now though with that feeling gone the full force of loneliness hits.
At times it recedes like a wave running back down a sloping beach then comes crashing back as if a huge roller has tripped up onto a surfing beach with the force of a steam train, smashing me down onto the hard sand of unhappiness.
I must overcome, I will overcome. But when?
On a lighter note, I wonder why lonely and happy and in 'y' when loneliness and happiness replace the 'y' with an 'i'. The mysteries of spelling.
TTFN
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Monday, 6 August 2012
Hello again
I've been away for a few days for work and my pal was down to visit from Glasgow over the weekend so I haven't had much of a chance to write very much recently.
Nothing much has changed since my last ramblings, my love of scones remains unabated and whilst I've not had any since the last lot I made I don't think it will. This is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder, although that really isn't somewhere I want to go just now.
I've found out who my friends are over the last few days and weeks and I will remember them fondly for the way they have rallied round me, even though I probably don't deserve their support, it is still welcome.
The cats seem to be none the worse for their trip to the kennels so I'm pleased about that even though it is always a shame to have to put them in there isn't any other option. Still they were taken good care of, that's the main thing.
There is a thunderstorm happening at the moment but no lightning yet. I used to be scared of thunder when I was a young lad and lightning didn't bother me, now I''m older I realise that it's the lightning which is the thing to be concerned about, thunder can't really hurt you. Funny how ones perceptions change with age.
I really should be writing an updated chapter of my latest training manual but I'm a bit distracted what with one thing and another so it is on the back burner for the rest of today.
I really do hope that things will improve soon, I'm sick of feeling anxious and lonesome. Even though I have had great support from certain friends, I still end up wishing for what I can't have.
Time to stop. Writing this is supposed to be cathartic so as I find myself lapsing into being maudlin I'll finish up and leave it for another time.
TTFN.
Nothing much has changed since my last ramblings, my love of scones remains unabated and whilst I've not had any since the last lot I made I don't think it will. This is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder, although that really isn't somewhere I want to go just now.
I've found out who my friends are over the last few days and weeks and I will remember them fondly for the way they have rallied round me, even though I probably don't deserve their support, it is still welcome.
The cats seem to be none the worse for their trip to the kennels so I'm pleased about that even though it is always a shame to have to put them in there isn't any other option. Still they were taken good care of, that's the main thing.
There is a thunderstorm happening at the moment but no lightning yet. I used to be scared of thunder when I was a young lad and lightning didn't bother me, now I''m older I realise that it's the lightning which is the thing to be concerned about, thunder can't really hurt you. Funny how ones perceptions change with age.
I really should be writing an updated chapter of my latest training manual but I'm a bit distracted what with one thing and another so it is on the back burner for the rest of today.
I really do hope that things will improve soon, I'm sick of feeling anxious and lonesome. Even though I have had great support from certain friends, I still end up wishing for what I can't have.
Time to stop. Writing this is supposed to be cathartic so as I find myself lapsing into being maudlin I'll finish up and leave it for another time.
TTFN.
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Useful talk
I've just had a very useful chat with the CPN at my local doctor's surgery. She has put a lot of my problems into perspective and suggested a couple of things that I can do to make my current situation bearable for the time being and given me hope for the future.
I need to make sure that I become more proactive and less reactive in my dealings with situations.
Starting from today I will be putting into practice the suggestions and will stop being a rabbit in the headlights of life.
Per Ardua Ad Astra.
TTFN.
I need to make sure that I become more proactive and less reactive in my dealings with situations.
Starting from today I will be putting into practice the suggestions and will stop being a rabbit in the headlights of life.
Per Ardua Ad Astra.
TTFN.
Monday, 30 July 2012
Here's a thought
Oscar Wilde once said 'if there is one thing worse than being talked about, it is not being talked about'. On a slight tangent from that I do not like being ignored. It is rude and often unkind to ignore someone who is trying to communicate.
Even if you don't like a person there has to be a modicum of politeness and consequently a reply to a perfectly reasonable question or statement.
It doesn't hurt to be polite, or kind for that matter. Nothing can be gained in the long run from ignorance or unkindness, all that produces is discord and unhappiness which could be avoided by a simple kind word.
Sometimes it is difficult with some of the haters on Twitter and suchlike to be able to think of a kind word but maybe a simple reply on the lines of 'Thank you for your opinion, I disagree with you and I'd be grateful if you would desist with your unkindness, goodbye'. You can then block them.
I still would like to think that a measured and thoughtful response will maybe make the haters think twice. Perhaps not, but if one person stops because of a kind word then we will have succeeded.
Time for me to return to cloud-cuckoo land where kindness and politeness are the rule rather than the exception.
TTFN.
Even if you don't like a person there has to be a modicum of politeness and consequently a reply to a perfectly reasonable question or statement.
It doesn't hurt to be polite, or kind for that matter. Nothing can be gained in the long run from ignorance or unkindness, all that produces is discord and unhappiness which could be avoided by a simple kind word.
Sometimes it is difficult with some of the haters on Twitter and suchlike to be able to think of a kind word but maybe a simple reply on the lines of 'Thank you for your opinion, I disagree with you and I'd be grateful if you would desist with your unkindness, goodbye'. You can then block them.
I still would like to think that a measured and thoughtful response will maybe make the haters think twice. Perhaps not, but if one person stops because of a kind word then we will have succeeded.
Time for me to return to cloud-cuckoo land where kindness and politeness are the rule rather than the exception.
TTFN.
Lunch break
Having a break from renewing my acquaintance with the material I'm delivering later this week so I thought I'd spend a few minutes talking to whoever is reading this these days. If anyone is reading this that is.
So the sporting extravaganza that is the Olympic Games has begun and the usual suspects are saying its all rubbish or all fantastic depending upon their leanings. I will be keeping a dignified silence apart from saying that I wish I had the imagination and ability of the people who produced the opening ceremony. It doesn't matter whether you think it was a triumph of Socialism or 'leftie' crap, you have to hand it to Mr Boyle, his staff and volunteers for producing a magnificent spectacle.
Anyway, I haven't much else to say just now and I'll be busy the rest of the week with this and that so my next ramblings will probably be on Sunday, I hope you can wait that long! I'll probably do another one of my putting thoughts down as they come to me style of things so at least you've all (all?) got something to look forward to.
TTFN
By the way, did I mention that I love scones?
So the sporting extravaganza that is the Olympic Games has begun and the usual suspects are saying its all rubbish or all fantastic depending upon their leanings. I will be keeping a dignified silence apart from saying that I wish I had the imagination and ability of the people who produced the opening ceremony. It doesn't matter whether you think it was a triumph of Socialism or 'leftie' crap, you have to hand it to Mr Boyle, his staff and volunteers for producing a magnificent spectacle.
Anyway, I haven't much else to say just now and I'll be busy the rest of the week with this and that so my next ramblings will probably be on Sunday, I hope you can wait that long! I'll probably do another one of my putting thoughts down as they come to me style of things so at least you've all (all?) got something to look forward to.
TTFN
By the way, did I mention that I love scones?
Saturday, 28 July 2012
Friday, 27 July 2012
Afternoon off
It is such a lovely day, the sun is shining and the gentle whirr of next door's strimmer fills the air. A typical English Summer, ahhh!
Enough of that tripe, I decided to take the afternoon off to catch up on some sleep and to moan and twist on here. Not true really, well the sleep part is as I've had a couple of late nights this week for no apparent reason and I'm a bit pooped. The moan and twist bit isn't though.
Since I reconstituted my blog (sounds like a medical procedure but never mind) and opened up about my depression and other problems I've had nothing but support and kind words from friends and strangers alike. There are some very kind people in this world and I think we'd do well to remember that. Sometimes we do ourselves down as a species and let the haters take over, there really is no need. From what I have experienced recently, the kind outweigh the hateful many times over.
It takes nothing to spare a kind word or thought for others who may be suffering from sadness, loneliness or physical illness and it really does help. It's good to know that someone has bothered to think of you even for a fleeting moment, it means that perhaps you aren't as alone as you might think.
I say, hurrah for the good and kind folks in this world. Scones all round!
Enough of that tripe, I decided to take the afternoon off to catch up on some sleep and to moan and twist on here. Not true really, well the sleep part is as I've had a couple of late nights this week for no apparent reason and I'm a bit pooped. The moan and twist bit isn't though.
Since I reconstituted my blog (sounds like a medical procedure but never mind) and opened up about my depression and other problems I've had nothing but support and kind words from friends and strangers alike. There are some very kind people in this world and I think we'd do well to remember that. Sometimes we do ourselves down as a species and let the haters take over, there really is no need. From what I have experienced recently, the kind outweigh the hateful many times over.
It takes nothing to spare a kind word or thought for others who may be suffering from sadness, loneliness or physical illness and it really does help. It's good to know that someone has bothered to think of you even for a fleeting moment, it means that perhaps you aren't as alone as you might think.
I say, hurrah for the good and kind folks in this world. Scones all round!
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