There have been many times over the last 5 years when I have just wanted to run away and live in a cave, to hide from life and hope my troubles would just disappear.
The thing is though, they don't, they sit outside the cave and wait until you stick your head out so that they can grab you and drag you down into the black world you were hiding from
Luckily I couldn't find a suitable cave to inhabit so I had to confront my issues and attempt to defeat them.
As I sit here on a lovely Summer evening I look around me and realise that I have made some progress.
I have dealt with the main issues and now live in a pleasant enough place and have made new friends, some of whom I will likely not hold on to but others who have been a help and a comfort. All-in-all I'm more comfortable in my skin that I have been for a while.
Recently a couple of events happened which not so very long ago would have floored me and sent me back downhill. This time, although they made me think; they have not knocked me over.
I feel a little low because of these events but I know that I can bounce back. I have re-evaluated my approach to my life and realise that I don't have to be a victim all the time. Looking at my attitude has shown me that I sometimes, no not sometimes, often revelled in having a bad time as if somehow I deserved my travails because I was a bad person.
Now I'm not perfect and have done some things in my life I'm not proud of and hurt people I should have cared for and for that I'm sorry.
The thing is I think I have learned from the bad times and will no longer wallow in self-pity, rather I will use any setbacks as a force for improvement in my attitude and approach to life.
I'm sure the anxiety and depression I've dealt with throughout my life will never entirely go away; all I know is that I now know how to deal with my own negativity and will try to raise my mood by becoming a better and more caring person.
The way I'm going on anyone would think that I found religion. No, what I have found is a determination to treat others as I would wish to be treated. that is in a kind and empathetic way. Kindness towards others is a force for good and a lifestyle, for want of a better word, which will enhance my ability to overcome negativity, find the positives in any negativity that comes my way and use it for the benefit of not only myself but others whom I encounter.
On that note I think it's time for me to stop rabbiting on. So Peace and Love, ttfn x
https://humanism.org.uk/
